I can't believe I'm still reviewing movies that came out in February. I also can't believe I still haven't even seen all of the movies that came out that month. I'm going to try and use this next week to really catch up so that when April comes I'm not fucking 8 movies behind or whatever I am right now.
2008 Movie #34 - Penelope
It feels like forever since I've watched a movie with Christina Ricci. I know I kind of watched Prozac Nation but let's face it, only one memory of that movie stayed with me and those who have seen the movie know exactly what it was....it was boobs. Other than that I really don't even know what the last movie of hers I watched was. Though I am pumped as hell shes going to be in Speed Racer this summer. Anyway that was a pretty longwinded intro to this review but it's mainly because I don't have much to say about the actual movie itself.
This really didn't turn out to be the movie that I thought it was going to be. I figured it was going to be a fairly low-key modern day fairly tale. You know all sweet and innocent and what not. But in fact what it actually is very loud, kind of slapsticky, very in your face and overall just kind of irritating. Within 5 minute of the start of the movie you have a bunch of scenes of guys seeing Penelope (who has a pig nose for those who aren't familiar with the plot) for the first time and jumping through windows and screaming. In fact there is a whole hell of a lot of screaming in this movie. It eventually just becomes a little unbearable. As I said before, the whole thing is just overly loud.
Sometimes there's nothing wrong with that, a movie can be loud and still be funny. This one however does not fall into that category. It's just loud and kind of irritating. Sure the movie has a good overall message, which is kind of rare these days, but it delivers it in a really unbearable way.
The actors really do fine, except maybe the mom who needed a good swift kick in the teeth most of the movie. Christina Ricci is always enjoyable and does well in the leading role here. As for everyone else, well they certainly did exist. (did I use that line in another review? whatever it will probably show up countless more times in the future as well).
Many people may not be bothered by the points I listed above. Hell many people may not even notice and wonder what the hell I'm even talking about. But I found the movie to be mostly grating and therefore not an enjoyable experience.
* 1/2 /5
2008 Movie # 35- Run Fatboy Run
These two reviews have now been sitting unfinished on my computer for at least a week now. I guess because unlike some movies I really don't have anything to say about these ones.
Simon Pegg is awesome and Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz are two of my favourite comedies/movies I would say ever. He was essentially the one and only reason I had even the slightest interest in watching this movie. In the end he does indeed turn out to be the best part of the movie, although the movie itself is actually better than I thought it would be.
It's the typical romantic comedy that you've seen 1000 times, just done slightly better. From the very beginning you know exactly what's going to happen and how it will play out. Although I have to admit that I wasn't exactly sure how the marathon in the end will go. Yes there's a marathon but if you remember, fuck plot summaries. Other than that though this movie offers up very little in the way of surprises.
However it does offer up some funny lines, enjoyable characters and an overall good time. That my friends, is my poster line...and since these reviews have gone unfinished for so long, im just gonna go ahead and hit submit right now.
***/5
Friday, March 28, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Shawn's Never Back Down Review
2008 Movie # 33 - Never Back Down
Ah movie 30. That's more movies than I would say the majority of the general public sees in a year, let alone in two and a half months. As someone who has watched a ton of garbage in these last few weeks, I'm actually pretty jealous of those people. They have no idea just how many bad movies really do come out in any given year.
With Step Up 2 The Streets I at least got some enjoyment out of it because I was watching it with a group of friends and we were free to make fun of it. I also wondered if it would have been any fun at all watching it by myself or whether it would just be god awful. Well thank you Never Back Down for arriving and giving me the answer. I didn't get to watch this one with any friends but I'm sure we would have had a blast tearing the thing apart. However alone, this thing was just terrible, even embarrasing on some level.
I don't even really know where to begin in my evisceration of this movie. The best summary is to say that there is absolutely no reason for this movie to exist. No reason at all. The plot is the same stupid shit you've seen thousands of times before only know you can mix in some unexciting fighting. It essentially is Step Up 2 The Streets but with lame fighting instead of actually pretty cool dancing. It takes some actual effort to make yourself worse than Step Up, but congrats to this one because it certainly pulled it off.
The acting is just amateur across the board with too many ridiculously retarded attempts at drama that come off as just a bad after school special. The audience would almost always laugh at these scenes and it's really hard not to. They're just that fucking stupid and happen way too often.
Whenever there isn't a scene like that, there is just a montage. I would say at least 1/4 of this beast is just a fucking montage set to some generic sounding pop rock song. Also this isn't connected at all but jesus christ does the lead guy ever fucking look like 80's era Tom Cruise. It's kinda scary actually.
So this movie only remains entertaining throughout its running time because it's baffling to see just how stupid it gets as it goes along. There has to be at least a dozen moments where you think "my god it can't get any stupider". Alas you should never underestimate Never Back Down's commitment because it rises to the occasion time and time again.
* 1/2 /5
Ah movie 30. That's more movies than I would say the majority of the general public sees in a year, let alone in two and a half months. As someone who has watched a ton of garbage in these last few weeks, I'm actually pretty jealous of those people. They have no idea just how many bad movies really do come out in any given year.
With Step Up 2 The Streets I at least got some enjoyment out of it because I was watching it with a group of friends and we were free to make fun of it. I also wondered if it would have been any fun at all watching it by myself or whether it would just be god awful. Well thank you Never Back Down for arriving and giving me the answer. I didn't get to watch this one with any friends but I'm sure we would have had a blast tearing the thing apart. However alone, this thing was just terrible, even embarrasing on some level.
I don't even really know where to begin in my evisceration of this movie. The best summary is to say that there is absolutely no reason for this movie to exist. No reason at all. The plot is the same stupid shit you've seen thousands of times before only know you can mix in some unexciting fighting. It essentially is Step Up 2 The Streets but with lame fighting instead of actually pretty cool dancing. It takes some actual effort to make yourself worse than Step Up, but congrats to this one because it certainly pulled it off.
The acting is just amateur across the board with too many ridiculously retarded attempts at drama that come off as just a bad after school special. The audience would almost always laugh at these scenes and it's really hard not to. They're just that fucking stupid and happen way too often.
Whenever there isn't a scene like that, there is just a montage. I would say at least 1/4 of this beast is just a fucking montage set to some generic sounding pop rock song. Also this isn't connected at all but jesus christ does the lead guy ever fucking look like 80's era Tom Cruise. It's kinda scary actually.
So this movie only remains entertaining throughout its running time because it's baffling to see just how stupid it gets as it goes along. There has to be at least a dozen moments where you think "my god it can't get any stupider". Alas you should never underestimate Never Back Down's commitment because it rises to the occasion time and time again.
* 1/2 /5
Shawn's Horton Hears A Who Review
2008 Movie #32 - Horton Hears A Who
Wow after January I have been doing really terrible at this whole prediction thing. Then again after January I've been doing terrible keeping up with this blog all together. Anyway, at the start of the month I predicted this would be one of the worst movies of the month. How wrong I was. This movie isn't really anything like I expected it to be. I assumed it would be a nonstop barrage of pop culture references and attempts to make the original book hip and shit for the current crowd. In the end however, not so much.
Sure there are a few pop culture things (a lame reference to "whospace", some hip hop music and a sing-a-long at the end) but for the most part, the movie stays fairly straight forward and goes for actual laughs, not just constant references to other things. There actually are some good laughs in this too. There are some very funny one-liners throughout and the whole thing is just a fun time.
The voice actors are across the board very good. One of the main things I was worried about with this one is that Jim Carrey would go into full on "Jim Carrey" mode and it would start to get irritating. However for the most part he stays pretty tuned down and the movie works great for it. Steve Carrell also does a great job as the mayor of Whoville. Seth Rogen has a small part but also has some of the best laughs, same goes for Will Arnett as a vulture.
It musn't have been easy to take a book that can't be more than a 5-10 minute read and make it into an 80 minute long movie but kudos to the writers they did a pretty damn good job with the task. The movie never feels padded out and at the same time feels very true to the original book.
Of course with any animated movie I have to mention the animation itself. In this movie it's just fantastic. Some scenes are just amazing to look at and some of the details they went into with the scenary and especially with the characters is quite simply incredible.
I was pleasantly surprised by this movie and would definitely recommend it. In an age where kids movies are usually the bottom of the entertainment barrel, it's great to see one that gets it right. This is one both kids and adults can enjoy and that my friends, is getting rarer and rarer these days.
*** 1/2 /5
Wow after January I have been doing really terrible at this whole prediction thing. Then again after January I've been doing terrible keeping up with this blog all together. Anyway, at the start of the month I predicted this would be one of the worst movies of the month. How wrong I was. This movie isn't really anything like I expected it to be. I assumed it would be a nonstop barrage of pop culture references and attempts to make the original book hip and shit for the current crowd. In the end however, not so much.
Sure there are a few pop culture things (a lame reference to "whospace", some hip hop music and a sing-a-long at the end) but for the most part, the movie stays fairly straight forward and goes for actual laughs, not just constant references to other things. There actually are some good laughs in this too. There are some very funny one-liners throughout and the whole thing is just a fun time.
The voice actors are across the board very good. One of the main things I was worried about with this one is that Jim Carrey would go into full on "Jim Carrey" mode and it would start to get irritating. However for the most part he stays pretty tuned down and the movie works great for it. Steve Carrell also does a great job as the mayor of Whoville. Seth Rogen has a small part but also has some of the best laughs, same goes for Will Arnett as a vulture.
It musn't have been easy to take a book that can't be more than a 5-10 minute read and make it into an 80 minute long movie but kudos to the writers they did a pretty damn good job with the task. The movie never feels padded out and at the same time feels very true to the original book.
Of course with any animated movie I have to mention the animation itself. In this movie it's just fantastic. Some scenes are just amazing to look at and some of the details they went into with the scenary and especially with the characters is quite simply incredible.
I was pleasantly surprised by this movie and would definitely recommend it. In an age where kids movies are usually the bottom of the entertainment barrel, it's great to see one that gets it right. This is one both kids and adults can enjoy and that my friends, is getting rarer and rarer these days.
*** 1/2 /5
Monday, March 17, 2008
Shawn's Definitely, Maybe Review
2008 Movie # 31 - Definitely, Maybe
The romantic comedy is the most predictable of all movie genres. Almost all of them are exactly the same but occasionally you get one that stands out from the others. Is this one of them? Kind of, but not really. It's better than a lot of them out there that's for sure, but it's still just a good movie, not a great one. It's certainly not as good as Love Actually (which let's just set things straight right now, I like that fucking movie) but for a romantic comedy it does pretty alright.
The movie has kind of a How I Met Your Mother thing going on in that the movie is being told as a story where you don't know who the daughter's mom is. This does help to make things a little more interesting as it keeps you guessing as to who the mother actually is.
The actors are all generally likable which is pretty much the most important element for a romantic comedy to work. I've always liked Ryan Reynolds and I hope this movie really helps him out in becoming more of a leading actor in future films. Also all 3 of the main girls are good and of course extremely attractive. The movie does kind of hint as to who the main guy ends up with (they seem to be trying to get us to like one of the girls just a little bit more than the other ones) but overall the mystery element of things is good.
For a romantic comedy, the comedy part of it is quite low. There is nothing that really stands out as being particularily comedic throughout the movie. It seems to focus a little more on the drama and romance angles of it. Of course there are a few too many little convieniences like characters running into each other at key moments and various things like that, but it's to be expected in this genre so it's a little easier to let it slide.
Overall I wish I had gone to see this one with the GF on Valentine's Day because I think that situation may have increased my enjoyment of this one. However it's still pretty good so for a romantic comedy, it's worth checking out.
***/5
The romantic comedy is the most predictable of all movie genres. Almost all of them are exactly the same but occasionally you get one that stands out from the others. Is this one of them? Kind of, but not really. It's better than a lot of them out there that's for sure, but it's still just a good movie, not a great one. It's certainly not as good as Love Actually (which let's just set things straight right now, I like that fucking movie) but for a romantic comedy it does pretty alright.
The movie has kind of a How I Met Your Mother thing going on in that the movie is being told as a story where you don't know who the daughter's mom is. This does help to make things a little more interesting as it keeps you guessing as to who the mother actually is.
The actors are all generally likable which is pretty much the most important element for a romantic comedy to work. I've always liked Ryan Reynolds and I hope this movie really helps him out in becoming more of a leading actor in future films. Also all 3 of the main girls are good and of course extremely attractive. The movie does kind of hint as to who the main guy ends up with (they seem to be trying to get us to like one of the girls just a little bit more than the other ones) but overall the mystery element of things is good.
For a romantic comedy, the comedy part of it is quite low. There is nothing that really stands out as being particularily comedic throughout the movie. It seems to focus a little more on the drama and romance angles of it. Of course there are a few too many little convieniences like characters running into each other at key moments and various things like that, but it's to be expected in this genre so it's a little easier to let it slide.
Overall I wish I had gone to see this one with the GF on Valentine's Day because I think that situation may have increased my enjoyment of this one. However it's still pretty good so for a romantic comedy, it's worth checking out.
***/5
Shawn's Witless Protection, Vantage Point and College Road Trip reviews
Well for those of you who thought that I had given up on this thing rest assured that I certainly have not. I saw a bunch of movies but just didn't get around to reviewing them because I was getting ready to head off to New York for 5 days. So I got back yesterday and now it's time to really start working on catching up on this damn thing.
2008 Movie # 28 - Witless Protection
I believe I predicted this would be the worst movie of February but it's too long ago to remember for sure and I'm just lazy enough to take the 10 seconds to check for sure. If that is indeed the case then at least I seem to have gotten one prediction in February right because my god, this thing is a sin.
I've watched the Blue Collar Comedy stuff and just well, it's not for me. I have no problems with anyone who does find it funny, I'm just not one of them. Well let me clarify that, I don't have a problem generally with people who like the blue collar comedy...but I do have a problem with those who find Larry the Cable Guy funny. Make sense? No? Maybe fuck off. The fact that this guy is a fucking millionaire for pretending to be a dumb hick who farts and makes unfunny, often racist, oneliners is just baffling to me.
I couldn't finish watching either Health Inspector or Delta Farce so this is the first one of his movies that I've had the pleasure of watching from start to end. Now this movie was a pretty huge bomb at the box office, but the fact that it made any money at all is just tragic. Maybe if it had 8 dollars total, provided by the Cable Guy himself, it would be acceptable, but to make millions of dollars...I don't even have the words for that.
The movie is terrible. It's not funny, it's mean spirited and racist, and just ridiculously unfunny. There is actually a scene where Larry's character is talking to an arab man and makes references to him being a terrorist, a towel/diaperhead, jihad, guantanamo bay, all in the span of about 30 seconds. Are you fucking kidding me? Are....you.....fucking....kidding.....me? I mean I normally don't have a problem with edgy humour but that's not even humour. That's just throwing a ton of racial slurs at a character. Trust me when I say that other races aren't treated well in this thing either. It's just of jaw dropping in a way to see something like this. It carries on throughout the whole movie so it no longer is just unfunny, but generally unpleasant.
Also I feel I should take the time in this review to address an important issue...and that is the immediate death of the joke of having someone saying "i have two words for you" and then saying one word. COME ON NOW! Can't we let this joke die?! Is anyone still laughing at it? Jeeeeesus!
Anyway fuck this movie and fuck everyone who is behind it's unholy existence.
0/5
2008 Movie # 29 - Vantage Point
I actually had fairly high hopes for this one. The trailers made it look promising, it had a very good cast attached to it and the premise was overall pretty cool. It just came down to the execution which in the end, sadly turned out to be a little on the lacking side.
The movie essentially consists of the same sequence of events retold over and over again from the vantage points of different characters. I know a lot of people hated this device and at first I got a little frustrated everytime that rewind noise would start up, but after a couple times I started to warm up to it. It became interesting to see how each character was involved and to start piecing everything together. It was annoying that each segment would always end with someone seeing something and acting all shocked. I guess it was their way of creating cliffhangers but it became kind of ridiculous by the end.
The acting was pretty good across the board but nothing really stands out as "oh my god this person was so good." Although Dennis Quaid is pretty much great in anything and Lost makes me an instant Matthew Fox fan anyway. Other actors like Forest Whitaker and Sigourney Weaver do just fine but they really aren't given a whole lot to do. Nobody is really in the movie for that long since it has to cram so many character stories into it's actually surprisingly short running time.
As I said before my main problem with this movie was the execution. They took what is a pretty interesting idea overall and just did it all in a very "meh" way. Also I found in the end things just weren't explained very well at all. We see who all was involved and there are the standard twists and shit, but we never really know why any of them did it. There is also a car chase at the end that, while not a bad chase, just feels a little out of place and pretty unneccessary really.
So while Vantage Point certainly can't be called a bad movie, I can't fully recommend it either. It kept me interested while it was going but in the end it just wasn't enough. I needed more than to just not be bored, I needed an actual intriguing and well done thriller. Sadly this just isn't the one to do it.
** 1/2 /5
and finally....
2008 Movie #30 - College Road Trip
I predicted a tie between this one and Horton Hears a Who as to what would be the worst movie of March. Horton turns out to be getting really good reviews so who knows, may end up actually enjoying that one. That's not going to be the case with this one however because it's going to take one doozy of a shit movie this month to top this one.
For maybe the third time, I don't find Martin Lawrence funny. I don't find cutesy Disney kid movies like The Game Plan funny. So putting these two things together is just about the worst thing that could ever happen to me. The trailers for this "movie" all looked godawful but I couldn't even imagine how terrible this thing would actually turn out to be.
The best way to describe this movie is that by the looks of things, the director at some point realized he was working with a terrible, unfunny script. So he figured the best solution to this problem would be to just have every single actor in the movie scream all of their dialogue and make wacky cartoon faces the whole time. Needless to say this didn't work and ends up making the movie not only really, REALLY, unfunny, but just flat out fucking irritating to watch. This thing is an exercise in awfulness. I don't think I can even do it justice in this review.
The movie takes all of the turns you would expect it to take, full of predictable jokes, lame and unearned sentimental moments scattered throughout and overall just garbage every way you turn.
I think that's really all I need to say about this one. I mean as with all the other comedies, all I can really say is whether or not it's funny and god lord this one is not funny. Under no circumstances should you go see this movie in a theatre, rent the DVD, download it, read about it, or even let someone talk to you about it. Just close your eyes and ears to its existance and let's hope we aren't forced to deal with another one of these movies in 2008 because that means I'll have to see it, which means I'll have to blow up Disney.
.5/5 (jesus how many of these am I going to give out)
2008 Movie # 28 - Witless Protection
I believe I predicted this would be the worst movie of February but it's too long ago to remember for sure and I'm just lazy enough to take the 10 seconds to check for sure. If that is indeed the case then at least I seem to have gotten one prediction in February right because my god, this thing is a sin.
I've watched the Blue Collar Comedy stuff and just well, it's not for me. I have no problems with anyone who does find it funny, I'm just not one of them. Well let me clarify that, I don't have a problem generally with people who like the blue collar comedy...but I do have a problem with those who find Larry the Cable Guy funny. Make sense? No? Maybe fuck off. The fact that this guy is a fucking millionaire for pretending to be a dumb hick who farts and makes unfunny, often racist, oneliners is just baffling to me.
I couldn't finish watching either Health Inspector or Delta Farce so this is the first one of his movies that I've had the pleasure of watching from start to end. Now this movie was a pretty huge bomb at the box office, but the fact that it made any money at all is just tragic. Maybe if it had 8 dollars total, provided by the Cable Guy himself, it would be acceptable, but to make millions of dollars...I don't even have the words for that.
The movie is terrible. It's not funny, it's mean spirited and racist, and just ridiculously unfunny. There is actually a scene where Larry's character is talking to an arab man and makes references to him being a terrorist, a towel/diaperhead, jihad, guantanamo bay, all in the span of about 30 seconds. Are you fucking kidding me? Are....you.....fucking....kidding.....me? I mean I normally don't have a problem with edgy humour but that's not even humour. That's just throwing a ton of racial slurs at a character. Trust me when I say that other races aren't treated well in this thing either. It's just of jaw dropping in a way to see something like this. It carries on throughout the whole movie so it no longer is just unfunny, but generally unpleasant.
Also I feel I should take the time in this review to address an important issue...and that is the immediate death of the joke of having someone saying "i have two words for you" and then saying one word. COME ON NOW! Can't we let this joke die?! Is anyone still laughing at it? Jeeeeesus!
Anyway fuck this movie and fuck everyone who is behind it's unholy existence.
0/5
2008 Movie # 29 - Vantage Point
I actually had fairly high hopes for this one. The trailers made it look promising, it had a very good cast attached to it and the premise was overall pretty cool. It just came down to the execution which in the end, sadly turned out to be a little on the lacking side.
The movie essentially consists of the same sequence of events retold over and over again from the vantage points of different characters. I know a lot of people hated this device and at first I got a little frustrated everytime that rewind noise would start up, but after a couple times I started to warm up to it. It became interesting to see how each character was involved and to start piecing everything together. It was annoying that each segment would always end with someone seeing something and acting all shocked. I guess it was their way of creating cliffhangers but it became kind of ridiculous by the end.
The acting was pretty good across the board but nothing really stands out as "oh my god this person was so good." Although Dennis Quaid is pretty much great in anything and Lost makes me an instant Matthew Fox fan anyway. Other actors like Forest Whitaker and Sigourney Weaver do just fine but they really aren't given a whole lot to do. Nobody is really in the movie for that long since it has to cram so many character stories into it's actually surprisingly short running time.
As I said before my main problem with this movie was the execution. They took what is a pretty interesting idea overall and just did it all in a very "meh" way. Also I found in the end things just weren't explained very well at all. We see who all was involved and there are the standard twists and shit, but we never really know why any of them did it. There is also a car chase at the end that, while not a bad chase, just feels a little out of place and pretty unneccessary really.
So while Vantage Point certainly can't be called a bad movie, I can't fully recommend it either. It kept me interested while it was going but in the end it just wasn't enough. I needed more than to just not be bored, I needed an actual intriguing and well done thriller. Sadly this just isn't the one to do it.
** 1/2 /5
and finally....
2008 Movie #30 - College Road Trip
I predicted a tie between this one and Horton Hears a Who as to what would be the worst movie of March. Horton turns out to be getting really good reviews so who knows, may end up actually enjoying that one. That's not going to be the case with this one however because it's going to take one doozy of a shit movie this month to top this one.
For maybe the third time, I don't find Martin Lawrence funny. I don't find cutesy Disney kid movies like The Game Plan funny. So putting these two things together is just about the worst thing that could ever happen to me. The trailers for this "movie" all looked godawful but I couldn't even imagine how terrible this thing would actually turn out to be.
The best way to describe this movie is that by the looks of things, the director at some point realized he was working with a terrible, unfunny script. So he figured the best solution to this problem would be to just have every single actor in the movie scream all of their dialogue and make wacky cartoon faces the whole time. Needless to say this didn't work and ends up making the movie not only really, REALLY, unfunny, but just flat out fucking irritating to watch. This thing is an exercise in awfulness. I don't think I can even do it justice in this review.
The movie takes all of the turns you would expect it to take, full of predictable jokes, lame and unearned sentimental moments scattered throughout and overall just garbage every way you turn.
I think that's really all I need to say about this one. I mean as with all the other comedies, all I can really say is whether or not it's funny and god lord this one is not funny. Under no circumstances should you go see this movie in a theatre, rent the DVD, download it, read about it, or even let someone talk to you about it. Just close your eyes and ears to its existance and let's hope we aren't forced to deal with another one of these movies in 2008 because that means I'll have to see it, which means I'll have to blow up Disney.
.5/5 (jesus how many of these am I going to give out)
Friday, March 7, 2008
Shawn's Semi-Pro Review
Well the pattern continues. I watched this movie almost a week ago now and still haven't reviewed it. Not to mention the fact I'm incredibly far behind on watching movies from the past few weeks. I think everything fell apart with Definitely, Maybe. When I missed that movie, I used it to justify missing other ones with the logic of "well you're already behind anyway." Thus begins my efforts to try and catch up.
2008 Movie #27 - Semi-Pro
What the fuck are you doing to me February? I picked Jumper and Semi-Pro in a tie for what would be the two best movies of the month. Well I ended up giving Jumper 2 stars and now I'm about to do the exact same thing to this movie too. I never thought that's how things would end up.
Let me start off by saying I like Will Ferrel. I find him funny. I would rank Anchorman and Old School right up at the top of the list of my favourite comedies. I loved Stranger than Fiction and enjoyed Talladega Nights and Blades of Glory as well. Granted he's certainly been in some shit (*kicks Bewitched in the throat*) I think that covers all of the main ones. This movie ranks as the first one of this movies that I would consider a full out disappointment. This is made especially worse by the fact that it's his first R-rated comedy since Old School so there was potential out the ass with this one. It's really too bad it kind of falls flat in the end.
The trailers for this one didn't look great but I chalked it up to the fact that it was R rated and they couldn't show some of the funnier bits in the trailer. Not so much. The funniest part of this movie is the bear wrestling and that segment is all over the trailers. That part is pretty damn funny, as are a couple of other parts/lines scattered throughout the movie. The problem is that there are just too few of these parts. There are huge stretches of the movie with just no real laughs. Some segments (such as the russian roulette sequence) just kept on going even though you already knew where things were going.
There's also the subplot with Woody Harrelason (wow theres no way thats how you spell his name but whatever) and Maura Tierney and a love story. It's ridiculously out of place. It's almost as if the writer had two screenplays on the go at once and part of one accidently found its way into this one. Either he didnt notice or he just didnt give a shit and we ended up with this storyline that always brings things to a screeching halt.
In the end, the problem with Semi-Pro is that it simply isn't funny enough. It has a couple good laughs, but not enough to make it worth recommending. Will Ferrel may need to try something different as his movies are starting to run the risk of becoming a little stale. Hopefully Step Brothers turns out to be a nice surprise.
**/5
2008 Movie #27 - Semi-Pro
What the fuck are you doing to me February? I picked Jumper and Semi-Pro in a tie for what would be the two best movies of the month. Well I ended up giving Jumper 2 stars and now I'm about to do the exact same thing to this movie too. I never thought that's how things would end up.
Let me start off by saying I like Will Ferrel. I find him funny. I would rank Anchorman and Old School right up at the top of the list of my favourite comedies. I loved Stranger than Fiction and enjoyed Talladega Nights and Blades of Glory as well. Granted he's certainly been in some shit (*kicks Bewitched in the throat*) I think that covers all of the main ones. This movie ranks as the first one of this movies that I would consider a full out disappointment. This is made especially worse by the fact that it's his first R-rated comedy since Old School so there was potential out the ass with this one. It's really too bad it kind of falls flat in the end.
The trailers for this one didn't look great but I chalked it up to the fact that it was R rated and they couldn't show some of the funnier bits in the trailer. Not so much. The funniest part of this movie is the bear wrestling and that segment is all over the trailers. That part is pretty damn funny, as are a couple of other parts/lines scattered throughout the movie. The problem is that there are just too few of these parts. There are huge stretches of the movie with just no real laughs. Some segments (such as the russian roulette sequence) just kept on going even though you already knew where things were going.
There's also the subplot with Woody Harrelason (wow theres no way thats how you spell his name but whatever) and Maura Tierney and a love story. It's ridiculously out of place. It's almost as if the writer had two screenplays on the go at once and part of one accidently found its way into this one. Either he didnt notice or he just didnt give a shit and we ended up with this storyline that always brings things to a screeching halt.
In the end, the problem with Semi-Pro is that it simply isn't funny enough. It has a couple good laughs, but not enough to make it worth recommending. Will Ferrel may need to try something different as his movies are starting to run the risk of becoming a little stale. Hopefully Step Brothers turns out to be a nice surprise.
**/5
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Shawn's March Preview and Predictions
Well the unthinkable has definitely happened. I have fallen behind on this blog something fierce. I think right now there are 6 February movies that I still have to see. I did so well in January too. Not to mention the countless other movies I have that are either limited releases or aren't out yet still to watch. So fucking behind...
Hopefully March I manage to stay a lot more on the ball with things. Here's what we have in store for us this month.
March aka This one Could Really Go Either Way
7th
College Road Trip
10,000 BC
The Bank Job
14th
Horton Hears a Who
Doomsday
Funny Games
21st
Shutter
Drillbit Taylor
28th
Stop Loss
Superhero Movie
Run Fatboy Run
21
Possession
Wow aside from that last week there doesn't seem to be a whole lot coming out this month. There are a couple of other movies that I'm choosing not to include at the moment because I'm not sure if they're going to be wide releases or not and therefore I may not even have to see them.
10,000 BC I've seen surprisingly little for to say that it's a giant epic movie from the Independence Day guy. As long as a wooly mammoth fucks at least three things up, I'll be totally satisfied.
I expressed before how unfunny I find Martin Lawrence. Well this year he decided not to let us off easy and has another movie coming out within weeks of his last one. This one looks 100000 times worse even. The trailer for this is so bad I just have to cut people. This one could hit right down at the bottom of the pile for 2008, which isn't easy.
The Bank Job I actually already found a copy of so I hope to watch it soon. As I said in January, Jason Statham is a guy who deserves to be in much better movies than he's in. Hopefully this one sees a turn around for the guy. Otherwise he may be forced to go the recent Rock/Vin Diesel route and do one of those "tough guy has to look after a kid" route. Goody.
Fucking Horton Hears a Who...is it so hard to just take a Dr. Seuss book and simply adapt it? Does it need to be made all hip and cool for the modern day with fucking Myspace references or whatever shit? Also Jim Carrey needs to tone down the...well the Jim Carrey. Just take it back a few notches. This movie looks like it will be very, very irritating on many levels.
Funny Games I know nothing about other than its called Funny Games and it may or may not star Naomi Watts. I hope to shit it does cuz she is hoooooooooot.
Doomsday I saw the trailer for the other day and well, it didn't do much for me. It looks like a whole lot of other movies and I just don't have a whole lot of excitement built up for this one. Maybe it will be a pleasant surprise, which would be great because there has been a huge lack of those this year so far.
I like Owen Wilson. I think he's funny as a person but chooses to be in some really unfunny movies often. I hope this one is one of the good ones. The trailer is fairly average with a couple of smiles but nothing too amazing.
Thank god for Shutter because if one month went by without a japanese horror movie remake I would fucking kill myself. I would FUCKING....KILL MYSELF!
Superhero Movie has a chance of being either the next Meet the Spartans type rant, or a "hey that wasnt too bad kind of a movie".
Stop Loss has a standee in our theatre lobby that I have to look at for like 15 hours out of my week. Ergo, fuck Stop Loss.
I watched the documentary of the story 21 is based on and it was really interesting. I hope the movie does a decent job of telling that story because it's a good story and reading it on an etch a sketch would be entertaining as hell so why wouldn't th emovie be?
Run Fatboy Run I also have available and will probably watch soon. Ergo....what?
Finally Possession has been delayed like 18 times and if history has taught us anything, that's a fantastic sign for the quality of this one.
Wow every month these get shorter...I think. Maybe not even. You can even see the paragraphs get shorter as this thing goes on and I gradually start to lose interest more and more. As for the predictions...well here we go
Best Movie - God I really don't know. I'll say either 10,000 BC...or hell let's get fucking nuts...Funny Games. Funny Games is going to be the best movie of March.
Worst Movie - Again, theres so many good picks for this one, as with every month it seems. I gotta go with College Road Trip for this one, although Horton is a tempting choice. I feel College Road Trip will make me angrier so thats why it's going to be my solid pick.
Hopefully March I manage to stay a lot more on the ball with things. Here's what we have in store for us this month.
March aka This one Could Really Go Either Way
7th
College Road Trip
10,000 BC
The Bank Job
14th
Horton Hears a Who
Doomsday
Funny Games
21st
Shutter
Drillbit Taylor
28th
Stop Loss
Superhero Movie
Run Fatboy Run
21
Possession
Wow aside from that last week there doesn't seem to be a whole lot coming out this month. There are a couple of other movies that I'm choosing not to include at the moment because I'm not sure if they're going to be wide releases or not and therefore I may not even have to see them.
10,000 BC I've seen surprisingly little for to say that it's a giant epic movie from the Independence Day guy. As long as a wooly mammoth fucks at least three things up, I'll be totally satisfied.
I expressed before how unfunny I find Martin Lawrence. Well this year he decided not to let us off easy and has another movie coming out within weeks of his last one. This one looks 100000 times worse even. The trailer for this is so bad I just have to cut people. This one could hit right down at the bottom of the pile for 2008, which isn't easy.
The Bank Job I actually already found a copy of so I hope to watch it soon. As I said in January, Jason Statham is a guy who deserves to be in much better movies than he's in. Hopefully this one sees a turn around for the guy. Otherwise he may be forced to go the recent Rock/Vin Diesel route and do one of those "tough guy has to look after a kid" route. Goody.
Fucking Horton Hears a Who...is it so hard to just take a Dr. Seuss book and simply adapt it? Does it need to be made all hip and cool for the modern day with fucking Myspace references or whatever shit? Also Jim Carrey needs to tone down the...well the Jim Carrey. Just take it back a few notches. This movie looks like it will be very, very irritating on many levels.
Funny Games I know nothing about other than its called Funny Games and it may or may not star Naomi Watts. I hope to shit it does cuz she is hoooooooooot.
Doomsday I saw the trailer for the other day and well, it didn't do much for me. It looks like a whole lot of other movies and I just don't have a whole lot of excitement built up for this one. Maybe it will be a pleasant surprise, which would be great because there has been a huge lack of those this year so far.
I like Owen Wilson. I think he's funny as a person but chooses to be in some really unfunny movies often. I hope this one is one of the good ones. The trailer is fairly average with a couple of smiles but nothing too amazing.
Thank god for Shutter because if one month went by without a japanese horror movie remake I would fucking kill myself. I would FUCKING....KILL MYSELF!
Superhero Movie has a chance of being either the next Meet the Spartans type rant, or a "hey that wasnt too bad kind of a movie".
Stop Loss has a standee in our theatre lobby that I have to look at for like 15 hours out of my week. Ergo, fuck Stop Loss.
I watched the documentary of the story 21 is based on and it was really interesting. I hope the movie does a decent job of telling that story because it's a good story and reading it on an etch a sketch would be entertaining as hell so why wouldn't th emovie be?
Run Fatboy Run I also have available and will probably watch soon. Ergo....what?
Finally Possession has been delayed like 18 times and if history has taught us anything, that's a fantastic sign for the quality of this one.
Wow every month these get shorter...I think. Maybe not even. You can even see the paragraphs get shorter as this thing goes on and I gradually start to lose interest more and more. As for the predictions...well here we go
Best Movie - God I really don't know. I'll say either 10,000 BC...or hell let's get fucking nuts...Funny Games. Funny Games is going to be the best movie of March.
Worst Movie - Again, theres so many good picks for this one, as with every month it seems. I gotta go with College Road Trip for this one, although Horton is a tempting choice. I feel College Road Trip will make me angrier so thats why it's going to be my solid pick.
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