2008 Movie #26 - Be Kind Rewind
I somehow overlooked this movie when I was predicting the best movies of the month. I've been excited for this movie for quite some time now. It's been delayed a few times which is always cause for concern and I started to get worried that maybe this movie was going to be terrible. After seeing it, that's certainly not the case but I can definitely see a lot of people feeling otherwise. This is the absolute definition of a love it or hate it kind of movie.
First off, this is not the movie you're expecting. I pretty much guarantee it. The premise and trailer make the whole thing like it's going to be a wakcy comedy about two guys recreating a bunch of movies. The fact is, it's not really a wacky comedy at all. Also, the scenes of them actually filming the movie remakes take up a very small percentage of the actual movie. The scenes they show are definitely funny (with the Ghostbusters remake being the highlight I would say) but they don't receive nearly as large a focus in the movie as you are probably expecting.
However, that doesn't hurt the movie. I'll admit those are the movies best scenes but the rest of it is always consistently enjoyable. It's a hard movie to really explain except that it's just...likable. It's never really laugh out loud funny, hell oftentimes it's not even that funny at all, but I was never not enjoying it. I felt out right good watching this movie. It just leaves you smiling and really, REALLY, wanting to grab your friends and a camera and shoot some of your own amateur movies....the wholesome kind, not porn. Well porn if you want I guess, probably mor emoney in that anyway.
Jack Black is actually very restrained in this role, only occasionally breaking loose and doing his typical thing. Mos Def is a good counterpoint to him, although I've always been a fan of Mos Def anyway. Danny Glover, Mia Farrow and others also do well in their roles.
The whole thing is generally a celebration of film and a reminder of just why we love movies in the first place. I can't flat out recommend this movie because I know a lot of people will not only dislike it, but violently despise it. I for one however, was pleasantly surprised with a movie that turned out nothing like I was expecting it to.
****/5
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Shawn's Step Up 2 The Streets, Spiderwick Chronicles and Jumper reviews
That's right, the first update that contains three movie reviews so you know this beast is going to be really, really long. Again, keeping the recent pattern going, I watched all 3 of these movies on Saturday but am just now reviewing them. Was it worth the wait? Nooooooooooooo....especially because most of you had no idea you were even waiting for them.
2008 Movie # 23 - Step Up 2 The Streets
Well I never saw the first Step Up because unless I'm doing some sort of movie quest I like to stay away from movies that are so terrible they make me want to die. I can't think of a single dance movie like this one I've enjoyed since the whole slew of them started in recent years. How She Move certainly didn't give me a whole lot of faith.
Now this one is kind of tricky to review because I watched it at an employee screening my theatre held. This means there were like 8 people sitting in the theatre, watching the movie and just ripping it apart. As a result, the experience of watching the movie was actually really enjoyable. However, I have to make sure this review seperates the experience from the actual movie. The experience may have been really fun, but the movie itself is just...it's just ridiculous.
You all know the plot. Troubled girl, dancing, blah blah blah. You're all there for the dancing anyway. At least at times this movie seems to realize that and tried to cut on the plot elements. Thank god for that too because whenever the movie stops to do plot stuff it's just painful. Any movie that contains two people having a dance battle to decide whether the main girl has to attend art school, well I think that's a sure sign the writers just didn't give two shits about plot.
Since you're all going for the dancing anyway, I should say that the dancing is good. The previously mentioned art school deciding dance battle is actually quite cool. Did I mention that dance battle also takes place on trampolines that magically appear from under the floor of a dance club? There's also a sequence at the end of the movie that takes place during a rainstorm that kind of goes on a little too long, but is at least fairly entertaining. This could have a lot to do with the incredibly attractive lead girl dancing around in a wet, skimpy shirt. Speaking of which, pay close attention throughout the movie and you'll see that in every single scene, the material on her shirt gets higher and higher. At least that shows that the director knew exactly how to keep a lot of peoples attention.
So the movie itself is quite bad, but remains somehow entertaining throughout. Like I said I'm sure this had a lot to do with the situation I was watching it in, but I really didn't hate this movie nearly as much as I thought I would.
**/5 (I know I can't believe it either)
2008 Movie # 24 - Spiderwick Chronicles
I remember before watching the new Harry Potter movie last summer (which by the way, I was immensely dissappointed by) and every single trailer was for a movie that looked exactly like Harry Potter. This included The Seeker or the Dark is Rising or whatever the fuck it's name ended up being and this one. I never gave this movie a second thought, had no interest in seeing it and figured it was a complete write off. In the end I'm happy to report that not only was the movie a surprise, but it's actually really good.
The thing I like the most about this movie is that it's one of those rare kids movies that gives kids credit. It doesn't talk down to them with fart jokes and other stupid bathroom humour. It tells an actual story and isn't afraid to throw some darker elements in there as well. The movie has some scary moments and overall is exactly what a kid's movie should damn well be. It actually kind of reminded me of kids movies from the 80's that contained some pretty risque stuff you could never do today.
In addition to not talking down to kids, it's also a kid's movie that adults can enjoy as well. In fact I've noticed it's a significantly older audience who is coming to watch this movie at my theatre. That's probably not actually a good thing though since that means parents aren't taking their kids to see this one. Probably holding out for the fucking Alvin and the Chipmunks sequel or some shit.
Anyway, yea there are so many kid's movies out there who make no attempt to do anything adults will enjoy. They are just forced to sit there bored, wondering how on earth they raised a child who could ever enjoy watching the piece of shit in front of them. Pixar is the best at making movies for both adults and kids and good lord am I ever pumped for some Wall-E later this summer.
I think that about sums up my thoughts on this movie. It's a movie both kids and adults should enjoy with a well told story, exciting sequences and good performances across the board. Check this one out and help support a kid's movie that got it right for once.
*** 1/2 /5
2008 Movie #25 - Jumper
For those of you who are paying attention, I predicted this movie to possibly be the best movie of February. Either this one or Semi-Pro. Well, after seeing it it would appear that my prediction won't be accurate. It's not a bad movie, it's just not a particularily good movie either. It just kind of exists, entertaining for it's very short running time and then leaving you with an experience that's overall pretty forgettable.
The idea of the movie is pretty cool because I mean let's face it, teleportation is fucking awesome. This isn't the movie to exploit it's fucking awesomeness though. At first it's cool but by the end of the movie the action sequences all pretty much boil down to the exact same thing over and over. There are some stand out moments but pretty much all of them are in the trailer. The action scenes are definitely well done with some very cool special effects and location shooting, they just aren't nearly as exciting or involving as they should.
So the action sequences aren't that fantastic, what about the plot that attempts to string them all together? It's not so fantastic either. In fact a lot of the questions aren't even answered, which means we're supposed to wait for the sequel which may never even happen. What we do get is a a brief overview of a group called the Paladins who are trying to kill jumpers, and a big "who gives a shit" romantic subplot along the way.
The acting is hit or miss. Samuel L. Jackson can star in any movie and still kick ass within it. His hair is pretty fucking ridiculous but he does what he can with the role and comes out okay in the end. Hayden Christiensen...I won't like I'm part of the camp that really doesn't like the new Star Wars trilogy and he plays a giant role in my reason why. He's very wooden in this movies and brings nothing to the role. In Jumper? He's very wooden in this movie and brings nothing to the role. It's the strangest thing because it seems like he can act because he's quite good in Life as a House and Shattered Glass. The man is a fucking enigma. Finally we have Rachel Bilson who is a lot hotter than I remember. That's really all I walked away with from her performance.
That about sums it all up. This movie had some potential but in the end it just fails to deliver on it.
**/5
FUCK! That took a long time to review. So now I just have to see Definitely, Maybe (was supposed to be watched on Monday but...wasn't) and I'm allllll caught up.
2008 Movie # 23 - Step Up 2 The Streets
Well I never saw the first Step Up because unless I'm doing some sort of movie quest I like to stay away from movies that are so terrible they make me want to die. I can't think of a single dance movie like this one I've enjoyed since the whole slew of them started in recent years. How She Move certainly didn't give me a whole lot of faith.
Now this one is kind of tricky to review because I watched it at an employee screening my theatre held. This means there were like 8 people sitting in the theatre, watching the movie and just ripping it apart. As a result, the experience of watching the movie was actually really enjoyable. However, I have to make sure this review seperates the experience from the actual movie. The experience may have been really fun, but the movie itself is just...it's just ridiculous.
You all know the plot. Troubled girl, dancing, blah blah blah. You're all there for the dancing anyway. At least at times this movie seems to realize that and tried to cut on the plot elements. Thank god for that too because whenever the movie stops to do plot stuff it's just painful. Any movie that contains two people having a dance battle to decide whether the main girl has to attend art school, well I think that's a sure sign the writers just didn't give two shits about plot.
Since you're all going for the dancing anyway, I should say that the dancing is good. The previously mentioned art school deciding dance battle is actually quite cool. Did I mention that dance battle also takes place on trampolines that magically appear from under the floor of a dance club? There's also a sequence at the end of the movie that takes place during a rainstorm that kind of goes on a little too long, but is at least fairly entertaining. This could have a lot to do with the incredibly attractive lead girl dancing around in a wet, skimpy shirt. Speaking of which, pay close attention throughout the movie and you'll see that in every single scene, the material on her shirt gets higher and higher. At least that shows that the director knew exactly how to keep a lot of peoples attention.
So the movie itself is quite bad, but remains somehow entertaining throughout. Like I said I'm sure this had a lot to do with the situation I was watching it in, but I really didn't hate this movie nearly as much as I thought I would.
**/5 (I know I can't believe it either)
2008 Movie # 24 - Spiderwick Chronicles
I remember before watching the new Harry Potter movie last summer (which by the way, I was immensely dissappointed by) and every single trailer was for a movie that looked exactly like Harry Potter. This included The Seeker or the Dark is Rising or whatever the fuck it's name ended up being and this one. I never gave this movie a second thought, had no interest in seeing it and figured it was a complete write off. In the end I'm happy to report that not only was the movie a surprise, but it's actually really good.
The thing I like the most about this movie is that it's one of those rare kids movies that gives kids credit. It doesn't talk down to them with fart jokes and other stupid bathroom humour. It tells an actual story and isn't afraid to throw some darker elements in there as well. The movie has some scary moments and overall is exactly what a kid's movie should damn well be. It actually kind of reminded me of kids movies from the 80's that contained some pretty risque stuff you could never do today.
In addition to not talking down to kids, it's also a kid's movie that adults can enjoy as well. In fact I've noticed it's a significantly older audience who is coming to watch this movie at my theatre. That's probably not actually a good thing though since that means parents aren't taking their kids to see this one. Probably holding out for the fucking Alvin and the Chipmunks sequel or some shit.
Anyway, yea there are so many kid's movies out there who make no attempt to do anything adults will enjoy. They are just forced to sit there bored, wondering how on earth they raised a child who could ever enjoy watching the piece of shit in front of them. Pixar is the best at making movies for both adults and kids and good lord am I ever pumped for some Wall-E later this summer.
I think that about sums up my thoughts on this movie. It's a movie both kids and adults should enjoy with a well told story, exciting sequences and good performances across the board. Check this one out and help support a kid's movie that got it right for once.
*** 1/2 /5
2008 Movie #25 - Jumper
For those of you who are paying attention, I predicted this movie to possibly be the best movie of February. Either this one or Semi-Pro. Well, after seeing it it would appear that my prediction won't be accurate. It's not a bad movie, it's just not a particularily good movie either. It just kind of exists, entertaining for it's very short running time and then leaving you with an experience that's overall pretty forgettable.
The idea of the movie is pretty cool because I mean let's face it, teleportation is fucking awesome. This isn't the movie to exploit it's fucking awesomeness though. At first it's cool but by the end of the movie the action sequences all pretty much boil down to the exact same thing over and over. There are some stand out moments but pretty much all of them are in the trailer. The action scenes are definitely well done with some very cool special effects and location shooting, they just aren't nearly as exciting or involving as they should.
So the action sequences aren't that fantastic, what about the plot that attempts to string them all together? It's not so fantastic either. In fact a lot of the questions aren't even answered, which means we're supposed to wait for the sequel which may never even happen. What we do get is a a brief overview of a group called the Paladins who are trying to kill jumpers, and a big "who gives a shit" romantic subplot along the way.
The acting is hit or miss. Samuel L. Jackson can star in any movie and still kick ass within it. His hair is pretty fucking ridiculous but he does what he can with the role and comes out okay in the end. Hayden Christiensen...I won't like I'm part of the camp that really doesn't like the new Star Wars trilogy and he plays a giant role in my reason why. He's very wooden in this movies and brings nothing to the role. In Jumper? He's very wooden in this movie and brings nothing to the role. It's the strangest thing because it seems like he can act because he's quite good in Life as a House and Shattered Glass. The man is a fucking enigma. Finally we have Rachel Bilson who is a lot hotter than I remember. That's really all I walked away with from her performance.
That about sums it all up. This movie had some potential but in the end it just fails to deliver on it.
**/5
FUCK! That took a long time to review. So now I just have to see Definitely, Maybe (was supposed to be watched on Monday but...wasn't) and I'm allllll caught up.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Shawn's Charlie Bartlett review
Ahhh another review for a movie that's not even out yet. Granted it's not as far away as 88 Minutes but still, it feels good to be ahead of the game.
2008 Movie #22 - Charlie Bartlett
It's certainly no secret that 2008 has featured quite a slew of garbage movies. Fool's Gold, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, Strange Wildnerness, Over Her Dead Body, Meet the Spartans, all just god awful movies that if I weren't doing this damn quest, I never would have had to suffer through. However finally this whole quest has worked out well for me with Charlie Bartlett. The reason is because if I weren't watching every movie that comes out, I may have overlooked this one. That would have been a damn shame because what we have here is one of the better movies to come along this year.
Now I know that may not sound like much of a compliment considering the slew of shit that's leaked out of Hollywood's ass since the start of January, but this would be a good movie no matter what year it came out. It's funny, interesting, it's got characters that you actually care about and it's one of maybe the only teen comedies where you really don't know how the fuck it's all going to turn out.
This movie definitely has some darker comedic elements in it but it never takes it that far to take you out of the movie. It finds a really good balance between fun and lighthearted and more dramatic and serious. The performances are across the board good, especially Charlie (actor's name escapes me and I'm just lazy enough to not go and look it up), and Robert Downey Jr. as the pricinpal. Also it's nice to see Kat Dennings (girl from 40 year old virgin) in a more prominent role because I've always kinda liked her. Also like 3 people from Degrassi: The Next Generation show up throughout the movie which I'm sorry, is never a bad thing.
Overall, I say you should definitely be checking this one out when it hits theatres next Friday. It's definitely not the typical teen comedy, actually daring to take things in new directions. It's got some good laughs and is a welcome bright spot in a year of sad darkness.
*** 1/2 /5
The next update is going to be fucking gigantic and it should come later tonight. I'm actually dreading having to type the fucker up.
2008 Movie #22 - Charlie Bartlett
It's certainly no secret that 2008 has featured quite a slew of garbage movies. Fool's Gold, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, Strange Wildnerness, Over Her Dead Body, Meet the Spartans, all just god awful movies that if I weren't doing this damn quest, I never would have had to suffer through. However finally this whole quest has worked out well for me with Charlie Bartlett. The reason is because if I weren't watching every movie that comes out, I may have overlooked this one. That would have been a damn shame because what we have here is one of the better movies to come along this year.
Now I know that may not sound like much of a compliment considering the slew of shit that's leaked out of Hollywood's ass since the start of January, but this would be a good movie no matter what year it came out. It's funny, interesting, it's got characters that you actually care about and it's one of maybe the only teen comedies where you really don't know how the fuck it's all going to turn out.
This movie definitely has some darker comedic elements in it but it never takes it that far to take you out of the movie. It finds a really good balance between fun and lighthearted and more dramatic and serious. The performances are across the board good, especially Charlie (actor's name escapes me and I'm just lazy enough to not go and look it up), and Robert Downey Jr. as the pricinpal. Also it's nice to see Kat Dennings (girl from 40 year old virgin) in a more prominent role because I've always kinda liked her. Also like 3 people from Degrassi: The Next Generation show up throughout the movie which I'm sorry, is never a bad thing.
Overall, I say you should definitely be checking this one out when it hits theatres next Friday. It's definitely not the typical teen comedy, actually daring to take things in new directions. It's got some good laughs and is a welcome bright spot in a year of sad darkness.
*** 1/2 /5
The next update is going to be fucking gigantic and it should come later tonight. I'm actually dreading having to type the fucker up.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Shawn's Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins and Fool's Gold reviews
Again, these movies have been watched for a while, I'm just now getting around to writing the reviews for them. Gotta try and be more diligent with this whole thing in the future. I remember dreading the movie weekend of February 8th because there was not only no movies to look forward to, but no movie that may even stand a chance of being decent. Now that I have actually watched these two movies was I proven wrong? Or did they both turn out to be as bad as I imagined them to be? Well we're about to find out (I'll give you a hint...they're both bad)
2008 Movie #20 - Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
Let's get this out of the way right off the bat, I don't like Martin Lawrence. I don't find him funny and his movies are pretty much always reliable to be terrible. That being said, this one certainly does nothing to change all that. It's certainly not his worst movie, but it's still bad. It's not funny, it's way too fucking long, and then tries to get all dramatic with us in the end.
Usually with even the worst comedies I can say "I laughed once or twice" but not so much with this one. I think I forced a smile one time to maybe try and trick myself into thinking I wasn't completely wasting my fucking time. There's really just nothing here that we havent' seen thousands of times before in other movies. I mean really, fart jokes, dogs humping? Who is still laughing at this? Ok that's unfair because a well done fart joke can be pretty funny but this one is not well done.
Essentially the whole movie just feels like bits and pieces of other movies thrown together and then just shit out on top of the movie going public. If this movie is what passes for decent comedy these days (not to mention Strange Wildnerness and Over Her Dead Body, February's goal seems to be to single handedly kill the comedy genre...and let's not even think about Meet the Spartans) then we are all pretty much doomed.
*/5 (my god I've been giving out a lot of these lately)
2008 Movie #21 - Fool's Gold
Very recently some co-workers and I attempted to see if between Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson we could come up with five good movies. It took us a little bit of time but we eventually pulled it off. Of course this is all a matter of opinion, but this list is still fact. It goes as follows...
1. A Time to Kill (Matthew)
2. Almost Famous (Kate)
3. Dazed and Confused (Matthew)
4. Frailty (Matthew)
5. We Are Marshall (Matthew)
Some close calls would be : Skeleton Key (meh movie, good ending), Reign of Fire (sure it's dumb, but it's got fucking dragons in it) and U-571, I just don't really remember it now.
You'll notice that Fool's Gold is nowhere near that list? Well the reason for that is simple...it's another in the long list of bad movies these two actors seem to gravitate towards. The trailers looked terrible and the movie itself certainly delivers on the trailer's awful promises.
The sad thing is, I think somewhere buried in this mess is an actual good movie waiting to burst out. I mean a good sea adventure movie would be pretty entertaining since it's something we really don't see all that often these days. Unfortunatly this movie found just about every way possible to screw it all up.
The movie is intended to be an adventure/comedy/romance but it fails in all three categories. It's not at all funny and often doesn't even seem like it's trying to be. The main couple is not interesting and you certainly don't root for them to get together. Finally the action scenes are overall uninteresting, although I will admit to somewhat enjoying the final ten minutes or so (well before the plane landing scene anyway).
Overall the movie is quite generic, runs a way too long 2 hours and is oftentimes boring. There's many scenes of seemingly endless exposition that really does nothing for the movie. Oh and it even features one of those wacky sex scenes where the characters stumble around the room knocking all kinds of shit over. You would need the fingers and toes of everyone in the country to count all the other movies that have done that exact same scene. Skip this one. Watch Romancing the Stone instead.
* 1/2 /5
Tomorrow is going to be a huge day for movies so look forward to a fucking slew of reviews coming in shortly.
2008 Movie #20 - Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
Let's get this out of the way right off the bat, I don't like Martin Lawrence. I don't find him funny and his movies are pretty much always reliable to be terrible. That being said, this one certainly does nothing to change all that. It's certainly not his worst movie, but it's still bad. It's not funny, it's way too fucking long, and then tries to get all dramatic with us in the end.
Usually with even the worst comedies I can say "I laughed once or twice" but not so much with this one. I think I forced a smile one time to maybe try and trick myself into thinking I wasn't completely wasting my fucking time. There's really just nothing here that we havent' seen thousands of times before in other movies. I mean really, fart jokes, dogs humping? Who is still laughing at this? Ok that's unfair because a well done fart joke can be pretty funny but this one is not well done.
Essentially the whole movie just feels like bits and pieces of other movies thrown together and then just shit out on top of the movie going public. If this movie is what passes for decent comedy these days (not to mention Strange Wildnerness and Over Her Dead Body, February's goal seems to be to single handedly kill the comedy genre...and let's not even think about Meet the Spartans) then we are all pretty much doomed.
*/5 (my god I've been giving out a lot of these lately)
2008 Movie #21 - Fool's Gold
Very recently some co-workers and I attempted to see if between Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson we could come up with five good movies. It took us a little bit of time but we eventually pulled it off. Of course this is all a matter of opinion, but this list is still fact. It goes as follows...
1. A Time to Kill (Matthew)
2. Almost Famous (Kate)
3. Dazed and Confused (Matthew)
4. Frailty (Matthew)
5. We Are Marshall (Matthew)
Some close calls would be : Skeleton Key (meh movie, good ending), Reign of Fire (sure it's dumb, but it's got fucking dragons in it) and U-571, I just don't really remember it now.
You'll notice that Fool's Gold is nowhere near that list? Well the reason for that is simple...it's another in the long list of bad movies these two actors seem to gravitate towards. The trailers looked terrible and the movie itself certainly delivers on the trailer's awful promises.
The sad thing is, I think somewhere buried in this mess is an actual good movie waiting to burst out. I mean a good sea adventure movie would be pretty entertaining since it's something we really don't see all that often these days. Unfortunatly this movie found just about every way possible to screw it all up.
The movie is intended to be an adventure/comedy/romance but it fails in all three categories. It's not at all funny and often doesn't even seem like it's trying to be. The main couple is not interesting and you certainly don't root for them to get together. Finally the action scenes are overall uninteresting, although I will admit to somewhat enjoying the final ten minutes or so (well before the plane landing scene anyway).
Overall the movie is quite generic, runs a way too long 2 hours and is oftentimes boring. There's many scenes of seemingly endless exposition that really does nothing for the movie. Oh and it even features one of those wacky sex scenes where the characters stumble around the room knocking all kinds of shit over. You would need the fingers and toes of everyone in the country to count all the other movies that have done that exact same scene. Skip this one. Watch Romancing the Stone instead.
* 1/2 /5
Tomorrow is going to be a huge day for movies so look forward to a fucking slew of reviews coming in shortly.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Shawn's Over Her Dead Body Review
Well we're just at the mid February mark and already I'm starting to slack with these reviews. I actually watched this movie a few days ago now, I just haven't got around to reviewing it yet. Not that I have that much to say about it however. Anyway, here we go...
2008 Movie #19 - Over Her Dead Body
I hadn't even really heard of this movie until it kept playing over and over again on that preshow thing at my theatre. Unfortunatly (well not really) it was when I was cleaning theatres so there was only audio, no picture. Otherwise maybe I would have had a much better idea of just how bad this movie was going to be.
There's nothing more irritating than a movie that doesn't try to get away with anything that a sitcom can't get away with. That's essentially what this movie is...an 80 minute sitcom that I'm guessing no networks would have been interested in anyway. Seriously can't you almost even picture the cheesy theme song that would have gone with this shit?
"They were due to get married but things went wrong,
His wife was crushed by a statue and now she's gone,
Too bad for him she won't be gone for long,
Over Her Dead Body"
That's just verse 1. Accompany that with some awful 80's sitcom music and a chorus of singers and I think it's pretty much good to go.
or how about this...
"Next on an all new 'Over Her Dead Body, Stephen and Rebecca plan a weekend getaway together, but the only thing they'll be getting away from...is sanity!"
Doesn't it all work just a little too well.
So I'm sure you've long figured it out by now but I really wasn't a fan of this movie. It's not funny, it's very, very generic and simply doesn't need to exist. There's also a twist near the end pretty much stolen from There's Something About Mary that is so stupid and so unneeded that it just leaves you baffled to who approved all this.
Even more baffling is how they got some of the cast to sign on to this thing. Paul Rudd has proven time and time again he's a funny motherfucker, but this is pretty much the biggest step back that he ever could have taken. You can almost see the sadness in his eyes throughout the entire movie. At least he manages a couple decent lines here and there that I'm positive he came up with on the spot so he didn't have to spout the garbage the writer was trying to feed him.
Also I've liked Lake Bell since she was on Surface (very underrated show) so it's cool to see her in a leading role but I really hope the fact it was in this movie doesn't stop her from being offered parts in the future. She does the best she can with what she has and comes out pretty undamaged from this thing.
In conclusion, 2008 sure ain't off to a good start when it comes to comedies. I personally am looking to Charlie Bartlett (the review for that one should be up soon) and Semi-Pro to put this awful comedy pattern to rest.
*/5
2008 Movie #19 - Over Her Dead Body
I hadn't even really heard of this movie until it kept playing over and over again on that preshow thing at my theatre. Unfortunatly (well not really) it was when I was cleaning theatres so there was only audio, no picture. Otherwise maybe I would have had a much better idea of just how bad this movie was going to be.
There's nothing more irritating than a movie that doesn't try to get away with anything that a sitcom can't get away with. That's essentially what this movie is...an 80 minute sitcom that I'm guessing no networks would have been interested in anyway. Seriously can't you almost even picture the cheesy theme song that would have gone with this shit?
"They were due to get married but things went wrong,
His wife was crushed by a statue and now she's gone,
Too bad for him she won't be gone for long,
Over Her Dead Body"
That's just verse 1. Accompany that with some awful 80's sitcom music and a chorus of singers and I think it's pretty much good to go.
or how about this...
"Next on an all new 'Over Her Dead Body, Stephen and Rebecca plan a weekend getaway together, but the only thing they'll be getting away from...is sanity!"
Doesn't it all work just a little too well.
So I'm sure you've long figured it out by now but I really wasn't a fan of this movie. It's not funny, it's very, very generic and simply doesn't need to exist. There's also a twist near the end pretty much stolen from There's Something About Mary that is so stupid and so unneeded that it just leaves you baffled to who approved all this.
Even more baffling is how they got some of the cast to sign on to this thing. Paul Rudd has proven time and time again he's a funny motherfucker, but this is pretty much the biggest step back that he ever could have taken. You can almost see the sadness in his eyes throughout the entire movie. At least he manages a couple decent lines here and there that I'm positive he came up with on the spot so he didn't have to spout the garbage the writer was trying to feed him.
Also I've liked Lake Bell since she was on Surface (very underrated show) so it's cool to see her in a leading role but I really hope the fact it was in this movie doesn't stop her from being offered parts in the future. She does the best she can with what she has and comes out pretty undamaged from this thing.
In conclusion, 2008 sure ain't off to a good start when it comes to comedies. I personally am looking to Charlie Bartlett (the review for that one should be up soon) and Semi-Pro to put this awful comedy pattern to rest.
*/5
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Shawn's The Eye and Strange Wilderness Reviews
Sadly this just seems to be becoming Shawn's Illadvised 2008 Movie Quest :( I'm so lonely here on the blog. Anyway, I'm really late on watching last week's movies but I'm just about caught up now. I should have all three watched by tomorrow night. Should probably have seen Fool's Gold by the end of the weekend too :(
2008 Movie #17 - The Eye
So after One Missed Call and just about every single other japanese horror movie remake to come out in the last way too long amount of time, I didn't really have a lot of faith in this one. Plus let's face it, Jessica Alba, niiiiiiiice to look at, not so much niiiiiiiice with the acting abilities. I've been meaning to watch the original version of this movie for quite some time now before I watched this one but simply never got around to it. I still intend to watch it, especially because I keep hearing it's loads better than the remake and I gotta say....I didn't mind the remake.
It's no secret that I've had to sit through a lot of shit this year already and there's lots more to come. Therefore it's always nice to have a movie surprise you like this one did to me. It's nothing amazing mind you and I'm sure I'll have almost forgotten completely about it by as soon as the end of the month but for the time it was playing, it's actually pretty decent.
You all know the plot. Jessica Alba is blind, gets a transplant, can now see, unfortunatly all she now sees is tons of fucked up ghosts and spooky stuff. Instead of doing what most people would do and cry in the corner, she decides to get out there and find the secret of her newfound evil visions.
The movie kept me interested throughout and I was always very curious as to just what the hell was going on. As with a lot of movies like this, the reveal at the end was a bit of a disappointment but not nearly as big of one as say, 88 Minutes. At least the road to get there is entertaining and actually has a couple of genuinely scary/creepy moments in there as well.
Jessica Alba actually does a pretty good job here as well. I might even go as far as to say this is her best performance yet, which if you look at her filmography maybe isn't really saying much but still, bravo Jessica. I was still very attracted to you and at the same time didn't want to punch you in the mouth every time you spoke. The other actors, whatever. They don't distract you so I guess that's really the best compliment I can give them.
Overall, as far as horror movies go (and especially japanese remakes go) this one is actually alright. I guarantee you there will be worse horror movies coming out this year so at some point, maybe check this one out.
***/5
2008 Movie # 18 - Strange Wilderness
As I said in my February preview (which let's face it, now of you even fucking read did you?), I found the preview for this movie quite funny and therefore became pretty excited for the movie itself. Wow, what a letdown. This is a classic example of the funny parts being shown in the trailer. No wonder almost the entire trailer is taken up by one single joke, it's pretty much the only good joke in the whole movie. This is also a classic example that it must actually be really fucking easy to write a movie and get it released. Hell this barely even counts as a movie. It's just a series of random things happening with a plot trying desperatly to string it all together. Granted it's not fucking Meet the Spartans terrible, but it's certainly not good.
I said in my First Sunday review that reviewing comedies are the hardest reviews to do. For the record, yes I am being paid every time I use the word "review" in some form, hence the last sentence. Anyway, thats never been more true than now writing this review. This review really doesn't review need any review more info other than review the fact that review the movie simply review isn't funny...review. I laughed out loud maybe twice (and I think I forced it a little both times just to trick myself into thinking I was enjoying myself) and smiled maybe two more times besides that. It's really too bad because there are a lot of really funny people in this movie who deserve a lot better than this. Skip this shit.
*/5
2008 Movie #17 - The Eye
So after One Missed Call and just about every single other japanese horror movie remake to come out in the last way too long amount of time, I didn't really have a lot of faith in this one. Plus let's face it, Jessica Alba, niiiiiiiice to look at, not so much niiiiiiiice with the acting abilities. I've been meaning to watch the original version of this movie for quite some time now before I watched this one but simply never got around to it. I still intend to watch it, especially because I keep hearing it's loads better than the remake and I gotta say....I didn't mind the remake.
It's no secret that I've had to sit through a lot of shit this year already and there's lots more to come. Therefore it's always nice to have a movie surprise you like this one did to me. It's nothing amazing mind you and I'm sure I'll have almost forgotten completely about it by as soon as the end of the month but for the time it was playing, it's actually pretty decent.
You all know the plot. Jessica Alba is blind, gets a transplant, can now see, unfortunatly all she now sees is tons of fucked up ghosts and spooky stuff. Instead of doing what most people would do and cry in the corner, she decides to get out there and find the secret of her newfound evil visions.
The movie kept me interested throughout and I was always very curious as to just what the hell was going on. As with a lot of movies like this, the reveal at the end was a bit of a disappointment but not nearly as big of one as say, 88 Minutes. At least the road to get there is entertaining and actually has a couple of genuinely scary/creepy moments in there as well.
Jessica Alba actually does a pretty good job here as well. I might even go as far as to say this is her best performance yet, which if you look at her filmography maybe isn't really saying much but still, bravo Jessica. I was still very attracted to you and at the same time didn't want to punch you in the mouth every time you spoke. The other actors, whatever. They don't distract you so I guess that's really the best compliment I can give them.
Overall, as far as horror movies go (and especially japanese remakes go) this one is actually alright. I guarantee you there will be worse horror movies coming out this year so at some point, maybe check this one out.
***/5
2008 Movie # 18 - Strange Wilderness
As I said in my February preview (which let's face it, now of you even fucking read did you?), I found the preview for this movie quite funny and therefore became pretty excited for the movie itself. Wow, what a letdown. This is a classic example of the funny parts being shown in the trailer. No wonder almost the entire trailer is taken up by one single joke, it's pretty much the only good joke in the whole movie. This is also a classic example that it must actually be really fucking easy to write a movie and get it released. Hell this barely even counts as a movie. It's just a series of random things happening with a plot trying desperatly to string it all together. Granted it's not fucking Meet the Spartans terrible, but it's certainly not good.
I said in my First Sunday review that reviewing comedies are the hardest reviews to do. For the record, yes I am being paid every time I use the word "review" in some form, hence the last sentence. Anyway, thats never been more true than now writing this review. This review really doesn't review need any review more info other than review the fact that review the movie simply review isn't funny...review. I laughed out loud maybe twice (and I think I forced it a little both times just to trick myself into thinking I was enjoying myself) and smiled maybe two more times besides that. It's really too bad because there are a lot of really funny people in this movie who deserve a lot better than this. Skip this shit.
*/5
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Shawn's 88 Minutes Review
I've had this movie on my desktop for just over a week now but completely forgot it was there until I saw Wolvy's review of it. Since I'm not watching any of the current movies, figured I might as well review one that doesn't come out for 2 and a half more months. Anyone interested in watching it now, it can be found quite easily. That's all I will say. However before you go eagerly searching it out, read what I have to say.
2008 Movie #16 - 88 Minutes
The premise behind this movie is promising even though it's something we've seen many times before. Essentially Al Pacino's character gets a phone call telling him that he has 88 minutes to live. It then becomes a race against time for Al to weed through countless suspects to find out who is behind all of it. Is it the guy on death row claiming Pacino gave false testimony in court in order to put him there? Is it LeeLee Sobieski who needs a good movie so badly she must cry herself to sleep at night? Or maybe it's Ryan from the OC? Needless to say there's tons of misleads all leading to a conclusion that's met with a resounding "meh." There's a lot more to the plot than that but I really don't feel like detailing all of it right now.
This is what we call a "slummin' it" movie. Pretty much all of the actors in it (especially Pacino) are capable of much better material, so they must be in it for the paycheck or something. That's not to say they're bad in their roles. Everyone does adequatly with what they're given, unfortunatly they're simply not given very much.
The movie is basic, seen it 100 times before, thriller material. It spends the entire movie trying to trick with a lot "oh look maybe it's this person, oh wait no it's this person" until as said before, the very unsatisfying reveal at the end. It's mildly interesting, but I was there all that invested in what was going on.
Also, how in the fuck does all this manage to happen in 88 minutes? The killer keeps updating Pacino on how much time he has and sometimes hours worth of events will happen and the killer will call to say that only 4 minutes has actually passed. I'm pretty sure by the time Al drove from one side of the city to the other, he'd be almost out of time right there. I guess it's movie logic but still. Also I suppose 88 Minutes is a better title than 304 Minutes.
In conclusion, when this thing hits theatres in April, there's pretty much no need to go and see it. I just can't recommend a theatrical viewing. If you would like to acquire it the way I did and view it, I could recommend it slightly more, but there's still tons of better thrillers out there. Hell go see Untraceable even.
**/5
2008 Movie #16 - 88 Minutes
The premise behind this movie is promising even though it's something we've seen many times before. Essentially Al Pacino's character gets a phone call telling him that he has 88 minutes to live. It then becomes a race against time for Al to weed through countless suspects to find out who is behind all of it. Is it the guy on death row claiming Pacino gave false testimony in court in order to put him there? Is it LeeLee Sobieski who needs a good movie so badly she must cry herself to sleep at night? Or maybe it's Ryan from the OC? Needless to say there's tons of misleads all leading to a conclusion that's met with a resounding "meh." There's a lot more to the plot than that but I really don't feel like detailing all of it right now.
This is what we call a "slummin' it" movie. Pretty much all of the actors in it (especially Pacino) are capable of much better material, so they must be in it for the paycheck or something. That's not to say they're bad in their roles. Everyone does adequatly with what they're given, unfortunatly they're simply not given very much.
The movie is basic, seen it 100 times before, thriller material. It spends the entire movie trying to trick with a lot "oh look maybe it's this person, oh wait no it's this person" until as said before, the very unsatisfying reveal at the end. It's mildly interesting, but I was there all that invested in what was going on.
Also, how in the fuck does all this manage to happen in 88 minutes? The killer keeps updating Pacino on how much time he has and sometimes hours worth of events will happen and the killer will call to say that only 4 minutes has actually passed. I'm pretty sure by the time Al drove from one side of the city to the other, he'd be almost out of time right there. I guess it's movie logic but still. Also I suppose 88 Minutes is a better title than 304 Minutes.
In conclusion, when this thing hits theatres in April, there's pretty much no need to go and see it. I just can't recommend a theatrical viewing. If you would like to acquire it the way I did and view it, I could recommend it slightly more, but there's still tons of better thrillers out there. Hell go see Untraceable even.
**/5
Friday, February 1, 2008
Bonus Review As Promised
Hey there, Shawn again with like my fourth update in 12 hours. Just can't seem to tear myself away from this thing. Anyway the pattern with these bonus reviews definitely seems to be straight to DVD horror movie sequels, as this will be third one of them reviewed. However this time it's like a special edition bonus review because for the first time ever, I will be writing this review at the same time that I am watching the movie. LET'S GET FUCKIN' NUTS! Also I'm willing to bet that this review will probably be longer than even my February preview.
Bonus Review #14 - Lake Placid 2
Again, who in the hell ever thought this movie was worthy of making is beyond me, but let's see what they have in store for us. Granted the first movie did have an ending that leaves it open for a sequel but that doesn't mean someone had to accept the challenge.
Ok the opening scene certainly doesn't get us off to a good start. It looks like it was filmed on a $10 camera and I'm pretty sure one of the actors is reading his lines off his own fucking hand. It's honestly some of the worst acting I've ever heard. Now he's in the water with this arm bitten off (it really does happen that suddenly too) and his friend doesn't seem to give a shit. He really looks only midly interested in the situation. Oh and now he's dead. End opening scene.
HOLY SHIT IT'S JONATHAN KENT FROM SMALLVILLE! Even he's better than this material. Seriously how could anyone be offered this movie and figure sure , why the fuck not? I don't care how badly you want that new car, no paycheck is worth this shit. I never thought I would actually recognize someone in this thing. Hey the main guy likes a girl that he's too scared to talk to. You know I don't think I've ever seen that plotline in a single movie ever in my life.
The dialogue and acting are actually painful. Why do we even need that shit in this movie? Why can't the crocodile just kill people for 80 fucking minutes? And why is the movie trying to hide the fact that the reason people are dying is an crocodile?! It's on the fucking cover! I can understand if the monster is supposed to be a mystery but come on. Granted this movie was probably working with a budget of 7.50 and maybe a handful of M&M's so they probably can't afford to ....TITS!!!!!...show the monster too often.
Why do straight to DVD movies feel it neccessary (I admit it, I have no fucking cluse how to spell that word) to tie their movie into the first one? There's not a single person.....TITS!!!!!.....on the planet who is a die hard fan of the first movie in pretty much any STDVD case so why does it matter?
You must be really desperate to break into the movie biz if you're run around topless in fucking Lake Placid 2. You would have more dignity in one of those Girls Gone Wild video. You would have more dignity if you were caught on camera drunk in a park in the middle of the day, naked and cursing at children, then punching a nun and urinating on a baby. ....what an odd sentence.
Wow what a shock, the girl the main guy likes is dating an over the top asshole. Do guys like this really get action in real life? Do girls actually go for this type or is it just a movie myth? Girls always say they can't find a nice guy and yet every nice guy is single. Hmmmm. This is less a review now and just my random thoughts on the world. The movie still sucks by the way. Still haven't seen the crocodile and all the deaths are lame and don't show any gore.
oooooo something may be about to happen! YES! Our first glimpse at the Atari 2600 crocodile. Who must have used a lasso to get that guy into the water based on how he fell in. Had we actually been shown footage of a giant crocodile wielding a lasso to get a guy off a dock, well this would be the best movie ever created.
I wonder if the people who made this movie, and those who make movies like it, are actually proud of their work. I know a lot of these DVDs do have commentaries with the filmmakers praising it but do they actually believe it? I mean how could you watch this, nod and go "hell yea this turned out AWESOME!" I say all this know but the second I make Snakes on a Plane 2 : Snakes.....But Just in the Jungle, I'm gonna proud as shit.
Hey it's Chandler's boss! So this is where out of work TV actors go to die apparently....ok like 20 minutes have gone by since that last sentence and nothing has really happened. Atari Croc has eaten a couple people and it's all just....TITS!!!!!....terrible.
This movie did just have two of the great lines/delivery ever in the history of movies. Line One delivered by the tough guy = "Don't start something you can't finish. It'll be your darkest hour." Within the same sentence he goes from being standard bully to some sort of dark wizard. Line Two delivered by the girl in the calmest voice ever "Don't look. There's a giant crocodile behind you." She said it so monotone, as if there were a puddle behind him or something.
Ok really, this review is already way too fucking long and I think there's still a half hour to go in this piece of shit. I'll just come back at the end and sum it up/rate it. I'm really sorry to have put you through you all of this up until this point, but at least it gave me something to do instead of pay full attention to this terrible movie.
Alright it's finished. It was pretty awful. Not even fun awful either, just painful and desperate for it to be over awful. Horrible acting, dialogue, characters, plot, effects, even the nudity was blah. At least it made me laugh a couple of times at it's horribleness and I know to never write a review while watching a movie ever again.
*/5
Bonus Review #14 - Lake Placid 2
Again, who in the hell ever thought this movie was worthy of making is beyond me, but let's see what they have in store for us. Granted the first movie did have an ending that leaves it open for a sequel but that doesn't mean someone had to accept the challenge.
Ok the opening scene certainly doesn't get us off to a good start. It looks like it was filmed on a $10 camera and I'm pretty sure one of the actors is reading his lines off his own fucking hand. It's honestly some of the worst acting I've ever heard. Now he's in the water with this arm bitten off (it really does happen that suddenly too) and his friend doesn't seem to give a shit. He really looks only midly interested in the situation. Oh and now he's dead. End opening scene.
HOLY SHIT IT'S JONATHAN KENT FROM SMALLVILLE! Even he's better than this material. Seriously how could anyone be offered this movie and figure sure , why the fuck not? I don't care how badly you want that new car, no paycheck is worth this shit. I never thought I would actually recognize someone in this thing. Hey the main guy likes a girl that he's too scared to talk to. You know I don't think I've ever seen that plotline in a single movie ever in my life.
The dialogue and acting are actually painful. Why do we even need that shit in this movie? Why can't the crocodile just kill people for 80 fucking minutes? And why is the movie trying to hide the fact that the reason people are dying is an crocodile?! It's on the fucking cover! I can understand if the monster is supposed to be a mystery but come on. Granted this movie was probably working with a budget of 7.50 and maybe a handful of M&M's so they probably can't afford to ....TITS!!!!!...show the monster too often.
Why do straight to DVD movies feel it neccessary (I admit it, I have no fucking cluse how to spell that word) to tie their movie into the first one? There's not a single person.....TITS!!!!!.....on the planet who is a die hard fan of the first movie in pretty much any STDVD case so why does it matter?
You must be really desperate to break into the movie biz if you're run around topless in fucking Lake Placid 2. You would have more dignity in one of those Girls Gone Wild video. You would have more dignity if you were caught on camera drunk in a park in the middle of the day, naked and cursing at children, then punching a nun and urinating on a baby. ....what an odd sentence.
Wow what a shock, the girl the main guy likes is dating an over the top asshole. Do guys like this really get action in real life? Do girls actually go for this type or is it just a movie myth? Girls always say they can't find a nice guy and yet every nice guy is single. Hmmmm. This is less a review now and just my random thoughts on the world. The movie still sucks by the way. Still haven't seen the crocodile and all the deaths are lame and don't show any gore.
oooooo something may be about to happen! YES! Our first glimpse at the Atari 2600 crocodile. Who must have used a lasso to get that guy into the water based on how he fell in. Had we actually been shown footage of a giant crocodile wielding a lasso to get a guy off a dock, well this would be the best movie ever created.
I wonder if the people who made this movie, and those who make movies like it, are actually proud of their work. I know a lot of these DVDs do have commentaries with the filmmakers praising it but do they actually believe it? I mean how could you watch this, nod and go "hell yea this turned out AWESOME!" I say all this know but the second I make Snakes on a Plane 2 : Snakes.....But Just in the Jungle, I'm gonna proud as shit.
Hey it's Chandler's boss! So this is where out of work TV actors go to die apparently....ok like 20 minutes have gone by since that last sentence and nothing has really happened. Atari Croc has eaten a couple people and it's all just....TITS!!!!!....terrible.
This movie did just have two of the great lines/delivery ever in the history of movies. Line One delivered by the tough guy = "Don't start something you can't finish. It'll be your darkest hour." Within the same sentence he goes from being standard bully to some sort of dark wizard. Line Two delivered by the girl in the calmest voice ever "Don't look. There's a giant crocodile behind you." She said it so monotone, as if there were a puddle behind him or something.
Ok really, this review is already way too fucking long and I think there's still a half hour to go in this piece of shit. I'll just come back at the end and sum it up/rate it. I'm really sorry to have put you through you all of this up until this point, but at least it gave me something to do instead of pay full attention to this terrible movie.
Alright it's finished. It was pretty awful. Not even fun awful either, just painful and desperate for it to be over awful. Horrible acting, dialogue, characters, plot, effects, even the nudity was blah. At least it made me laugh a couple of times at it's horribleness and I know to never write a review while watching a movie ever again.
*/5
Shawn's February Preview and Predictions
Originally there was going to be two more reviews tonight (Strange Wilderness and The Eye) but since we're supposed to get 30-40 cms of snow tonight, fuck that. The second I'm home from school I'm not leaving again until I have to. Unfortunately that means I really have no idea when I'll get a chance to see all the new movies opening today. Oh well, it'll happen eventually. There might be a bonus review going up tonight so enjoy that. Also in the meantime, here is my look ahead at February. As you may remember the releases for January changed dramatically after the first time we posted them. If that happens again this month, I blame you.
February aka Potentially the Worst Month of Movies That Will Happen This Year
1st
Over Her Dead Body
The Eye
Strange Wilderness
8th
Fool's Gold
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
14th/15th
Spiderwick Chronicles
Jumper
Definitely, Maybe
Step Up 2 The Streets
22nd
Charlie Bartlett
Be Kind, Rewind
Vantage Point
Witless Protection
29th
Semi-Pro
The Other Boelyn Girl
Possession
As of now I think that about does it. Pretty dreary looking isn't it? Let's start with today's movies.
Strange Wildnerness has some potential based on the trailer alone. The shark part at the end made me laugh my ass off so thats a good start. Add to that a funny cast and we may have ourselves a surprisingly decent comedy.
The Eye well...if One Missed Call is any indication of how these japanese horror remakes are going than this one doesn't stand a chance. The word on it right now isn't very good either. I'm going to watch the original first I think, just so I have some sort of basis for comparison. Although no matter what there's always some Alba to stare at. Although that didn't save Fantastic Four....or Fantastic Four 2....or Into the Blue....or Good Luck Chuck....or The Ten. Well shit.
Over Her Dead Body.....no.
Fool's Gold looks like every other movie Matthew MacConhogheayhgay has made in the last forever years. Plus after Almost Famous has Kate Hudson ever made a good movie? Better yet, a tolerable movie? The answer is no. The trailers are excrutiating and I honestly dread the moment I sit down to watch this one.
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins. You might as well call this one "Welcome Home Every Unfunny Comedian Ever!"
Spiderwick Chronicles essentially looks like another generic kid's Harry Potterish movie. Maybe this one will surprise, I really don't know.
Jumper has potential, if only because Samuel L. Jackson gets to kick the shit out of Anakin Skywalker. The director has helmed one really good action movie and one decent enough action movie, so I do have some fairly high expectations for this one.
I think I pretty much said all I need to say about Step Up 2 The Streets in my review of How She Move, just no interest at all.
Definitely, Maybe I really have nothing to say about at this time. I've only seen one TV commercial for it and that's really all I know about it. We'll just have to wait and see about this one.
Charlie Bartlett wins for 2 reasons 1)Robert Downey Jr. and 2) cast members from Degrassi are in it. Anyone who just had any negative thoughts about Degrassi after reading that, this blog knows about and is currently downloading a virus not to your computer, but to your soul.
Be Kind Rewind, well I talked about this last month. I somehow don't actually believe it's going to come out this month.
Witless Protection is pretty much the bottom of the February barrel. Larry the Cable Guy's existence is a sin against God. Throw in the fact that he's actually popular and I'm sure we're all going to hell, and will probably be greeted by a rousing "GIT R'Done" from the devil himself. I swear everytime I hear "GIT R' DONE" my first instinct is to just start lawn mowing people Dead Alive style.
Vantage Point has some potential. Good cast, interesting premise. This one I'm actually looking forward to. I can see it going horribly wrong though.
In the final week, we start with The Other Boelyn Girl. Seeing as how this movie stars two of the hottest actresses in the world, I don't really give a shit about any other aspects of it. I'm already there. I don't care if the plot revolves around Scarlett and Natalie throwing 2 hours of soul crushing insults at me, I would still be grinning like a sum bitch the entire time.
Possession I really know nothing about except it stars Sarah Michelle Gellar who has yet to be featured in a horror movie even resembling something decent, although I do have a slight soft spot for the first Grudge. Ergo I really don't have a lot of hope for this one either.
Finally there's Semi-Pro. I will admit flat out that I like Will Ferrel and I find this movies funny. Therefore I really have no doubt that I will feel the same way about this one.
CHRIST these preview things are getting long. I really hope there are fewer movies coming in March because I really don't think I can stand to type out another one of these damn things. So anyway, my final predictions for February are as follows....
Best Movie - Semi-Pro/Jumper
Worst Movie - Witless Protection
February aka Potentially the Worst Month of Movies That Will Happen This Year
1st
Over Her Dead Body
The Eye
Strange Wilderness
8th
Fool's Gold
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
14th/15th
Spiderwick Chronicles
Jumper
Definitely, Maybe
Step Up 2 The Streets
22nd
Charlie Bartlett
Be Kind, Rewind
Vantage Point
Witless Protection
29th
Semi-Pro
The Other Boelyn Girl
Possession
As of now I think that about does it. Pretty dreary looking isn't it? Let's start with today's movies.
Strange Wildnerness has some potential based on the trailer alone. The shark part at the end made me laugh my ass off so thats a good start. Add to that a funny cast and we may have ourselves a surprisingly decent comedy.
The Eye well...if One Missed Call is any indication of how these japanese horror remakes are going than this one doesn't stand a chance. The word on it right now isn't very good either. I'm going to watch the original first I think, just so I have some sort of basis for comparison. Although no matter what there's always some Alba to stare at. Although that didn't save Fantastic Four....or Fantastic Four 2....or Into the Blue....or Good Luck Chuck....or The Ten. Well shit.
Over Her Dead Body.....no.
Fool's Gold looks like every other movie Matthew MacConhogheayhgay has made in the last forever years. Plus after Almost Famous has Kate Hudson ever made a good movie? Better yet, a tolerable movie? The answer is no. The trailers are excrutiating and I honestly dread the moment I sit down to watch this one.
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins. You might as well call this one "Welcome Home Every Unfunny Comedian Ever!"
Spiderwick Chronicles essentially looks like another generic kid's Harry Potterish movie. Maybe this one will surprise, I really don't know.
Jumper has potential, if only because Samuel L. Jackson gets to kick the shit out of Anakin Skywalker. The director has helmed one really good action movie and one decent enough action movie, so I do have some fairly high expectations for this one.
I think I pretty much said all I need to say about Step Up 2 The Streets in my review of How She Move, just no interest at all.
Definitely, Maybe I really have nothing to say about at this time. I've only seen one TV commercial for it and that's really all I know about it. We'll just have to wait and see about this one.
Charlie Bartlett wins for 2 reasons 1)Robert Downey Jr. and 2) cast members from Degrassi are in it. Anyone who just had any negative thoughts about Degrassi after reading that, this blog knows about and is currently downloading a virus not to your computer, but to your soul.
Be Kind Rewind, well I talked about this last month. I somehow don't actually believe it's going to come out this month.
Witless Protection is pretty much the bottom of the February barrel. Larry the Cable Guy's existence is a sin against God. Throw in the fact that he's actually popular and I'm sure we're all going to hell, and will probably be greeted by a rousing "GIT R'Done" from the devil himself. I swear everytime I hear "GIT R' DONE" my first instinct is to just start lawn mowing people Dead Alive style.
Vantage Point has some potential. Good cast, interesting premise. This one I'm actually looking forward to. I can see it going horribly wrong though.
In the final week, we start with The Other Boelyn Girl. Seeing as how this movie stars two of the hottest actresses in the world, I don't really give a shit about any other aspects of it. I'm already there. I don't care if the plot revolves around Scarlett and Natalie throwing 2 hours of soul crushing insults at me, I would still be grinning like a sum bitch the entire time.
Possession I really know nothing about except it stars Sarah Michelle Gellar who has yet to be featured in a horror movie even resembling something decent, although I do have a slight soft spot for the first Grudge. Ergo I really don't have a lot of hope for this one either.
Finally there's Semi-Pro. I will admit flat out that I like Will Ferrel and I find this movies funny. Therefore I really have no doubt that I will feel the same way about this one.
CHRIST these preview things are getting long. I really hope there are fewer movies coming in March because I really don't think I can stand to type out another one of these damn things. So anyway, my final predictions for February are as follows....
Best Movie - Semi-Pro/Jumper
Worst Movie - Witless Protection
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)