Shawn's Beverly Hills Chihuahua Review

2008 Movie #115 - Beverly Hills Chihuahua

I don't know why I bother still putting my name in the titles of these things, force of habit I suppose. So I'm gonna skip the usual "I'm way behind, saw this movie forever ago" routine...but it's still very very true.

My motivation to continue with this whole quest dies just a little more each and every day. Could it be all of the crap movies that are out/coming out/just seem to be everywhere? Not completely because there are actually a lot of movies out that I really want to see. School? Not any busier with that then I usually am. I think it comes down to the fact that we are currently in the middle of one of the best video game streaks probably ever. Every single week there's at least 3 good games coming out and for those of you who are missing out on it, well I just feel sorry for you.

I did manage to find some time between awesome video games to watch this piece of garbage though. To give you a little history of me and this movie, the first time I saw the trailer for this before Narnia, it was one of the single most jaw dropping moments of my life. I couldn't fucking believe the images in front of me. It was almost the subject of my third rant because I easily could have railed on for a fucking novel about how awful it was.

Then months went by and I mostly managed to forget about this movie. Then all of a sudden it comes back...and it's the number 1 movie?! WHAT?! That just about became the second rant about that movie. Then a week goes by...and it's the number 1 movie again! Seriously what the hell is wrong with parents these days? As soon as your child asks to see this movie is when you immediatly lock them in their rooms until they learn to change their evil ways.

Many months ago (probably around the time of Wall-e) I was talking about how important it is for kids movies to have something that appeals to adults as well. This movie doesn't even seem to try. The humour is as child centered as possible. Sure at least it's a step above the usual kids fare. There are no fart jokes as far as I can remember but still. Again I have to go back to not being in the target audience but that still doesn't make the movie any more bearable.

The whole thing just feels lazy. The plot isn't anything even close to being original, the idea of real animals with moving, talking mouths isn't new and isn't any less creepy than it ever was, and the jokes and dialogue are tired. "Talk to the paw?" Are you fucking kidding me? That joke was old...well always. Also the term dognapping is used at least 5 times as if it was the cutting edge of original jokery. Sure the audience is kids who haven't heard this as much as we all have, but it just feels fucking lazy.

The voice acting is decent I guess. I really don't have much more to say about it than that. Andy Garcia is probably the highlight though. The real actors are fine as well. I always like seeing Piper Perabo in a movie, I just wish they were better movies than these. Same goes for Jamie Lee Curtis, whose track record is starting to look just terrible with this and Christmas with the Kranks, easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

I'm shocked at how much money this thing has made, especially considering all of the flops there have been lately. Apparently City of Ember is quite good and it's made about 1/9th the amount of money this one has. At least this whole experiment has cost me my faith in the world....yay?

*/5