Shawn's February Preview and Predictions

Originally there was going to be two more reviews tonight (Strange Wilderness and The Eye) but since we're supposed to get 30-40 cms of snow tonight, fuck that. The second I'm home from school I'm not leaving again until I have to. Unfortunately that means I really have no idea when I'll get a chance to see all the new movies opening today. Oh well, it'll happen eventually. There might be a bonus review going up tonight so enjoy that. Also in the meantime, here is my look ahead at February. As you may remember the releases for January changed dramatically after the first time we posted them. If that happens again this month, I blame you.

February aka Potentially the Worst Month of Movies That Will Happen This Year

1st

Over Her Dead Body
The Eye
Strange Wilderness

8th

Fool's Gold
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins

14th/15th

Spiderwick Chronicles
Jumper
Definitely, Maybe
Step Up 2 The Streets

22nd

Charlie Bartlett
Be Kind, Rewind
Vantage Point
Witless Protection

29th

Semi-Pro
The Other Boelyn Girl
Possession


As of now I think that about does it. Pretty dreary looking isn't it? Let's start with today's movies.

Strange Wildnerness has some potential based on the trailer alone. The shark part at the end made me laugh my ass off so thats a good start. Add to that a funny cast and we may have ourselves a surprisingly decent comedy.

The Eye well...if One Missed Call is any indication of how these japanese horror remakes are going than this one doesn't stand a chance. The word on it right now isn't very good either. I'm going to watch the original first I think, just so I have some sort of basis for comparison. Although no matter what there's always some Alba to stare at. Although that didn't save Fantastic Four....or Fantastic Four 2....or Into the Blue....or Good Luck Chuck....or The Ten. Well shit.

Over Her Dead Body.....no.

Fool's Gold looks like every other movie Matthew MacConhogheayhgay has made in the last forever years. Plus after Almost Famous has Kate Hudson ever made a good movie? Better yet, a tolerable movie? The answer is no. The trailers are excrutiating and I honestly dread the moment I sit down to watch this one.

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins. You might as well call this one "Welcome Home Every Unfunny Comedian Ever!"

Spiderwick Chronicles essentially looks like another generic kid's Harry Potterish movie. Maybe this one will surprise, I really don't know.

Jumper has potential, if only because Samuel L. Jackson gets to kick the shit out of Anakin Skywalker. The director has helmed one really good action movie and one decent enough action movie, so I do have some fairly high expectations for this one.

I think I pretty much said all I need to say about Step Up 2 The Streets in my review of How She Move, just no interest at all.

Definitely, Maybe I really have nothing to say about at this time. I've only seen one TV commercial for it and that's really all I know about it. We'll just have to wait and see about this one.

Charlie Bartlett wins for 2 reasons 1)Robert Downey Jr. and 2) cast members from Degrassi are in it. Anyone who just had any negative thoughts about Degrassi after reading that, this blog knows about and is currently downloading a virus not to your computer, but to your soul.

Be Kind Rewind, well I talked about this last month. I somehow don't actually believe it's going to come out this month.

Witless Protection is pretty much the bottom of the February barrel. Larry the Cable Guy's existence is a sin against God. Throw in the fact that he's actually popular and I'm sure we're all going to hell, and will probably be greeted by a rousing "GIT R'Done" from the devil himself. I swear everytime I hear "GIT R' DONE" my first instinct is to just start lawn mowing people Dead Alive style.

Vantage Point has some potential. Good cast, interesting premise. This one I'm actually looking forward to. I can see it going horribly wrong though.

In the final week, we start with The Other Boelyn Girl. Seeing as how this movie stars two of the hottest actresses in the world, I don't really give a shit about any other aspects of it. I'm already there. I don't care if the plot revolves around Scarlett and Natalie throwing 2 hours of soul crushing insults at me, I would still be grinning like a sum bitch the entire time.

Possession I really know nothing about except it stars Sarah Michelle Gellar who has yet to be featured in a horror movie even resembling something decent, although I do have a slight soft spot for the first Grudge. Ergo I really don't have a lot of hope for this one either.

Finally there's Semi-Pro. I will admit flat out that I like Will Ferrel and I find this movies funny. Therefore I really have no doubt that I will feel the same way about this one.

CHRIST these preview things are getting long. I really hope there are fewer movies coming in March because I really don't think I can stand to type out another one of these damn things. So anyway, my final predictions for February are as follows....

Best Movie - Semi-Pro/Jumper

Worst Movie - Witless Protection