Shawn's Hottie and the Nottie Review

2008 Movie #76 - The Hottie and the Nottie

This one is sort of an example of torturing myself for no real reason. This movie doesn't fall into the rules that were set up for this experiment and I easily could have gone through life without ever having to watch it. I could have just listened to all the god awful reviews from critics and humans alike and pretended it didn't even exist. So where the fuck did I go wrong? I guess it was one of those things where you have to see just how bad it really is. Well adding one more review to the cauldron of shit reviews this one already has certainly isn't going to change much but for the record...yes it's bad...yes it's THAT bad.

All the bad stuff that needs to be said about this movie has pretty much already been said by a ton of other people and I really don't have anything new to add to all of that. This movie was number 1 on the bottom 100 on IMDB and with good reason. It also only made something like 27 bucks at each theatre when it opened, although that still means people were willing to pay to see it, even if it was that few.

Paris Hilton...I mean what else is there to say? Why is she famous, I don't even think she fucking knows. Can she act? No. Can she sing? No. Is she attractive? If you ask me, no. So what....the....fuck? Don't you just want to sit down every person who is a fan of hers and just pick their brain about why that is? You probably still wouldn't understand and would just end up slapping them around for a couple hours to feel better about things. She really is terrible in this movie. Even an actress with crazy talent couldn't elevate this material above basement level shit. So what chance does Paris stand? That's right, no fucking chance whatsoever.

The rest of the cast doesn't fare much better. In the lead role Joel David Moore doesn't seem to understand that he's starring in an unfunny pile of garbage. he gives it his all which just makes the movie even more unbearable. Even worse is his friend who I'm pretty positive is credited as "The Greg Wilson." Wow he put a the before his name? That motherfucker must be just wacky and fucking zany to no end huh? Nope. He's a low rent version of a low rent version of a low rent version of Jack Black. But worse. Again the problem is that I think the guy believes hes fucking hilarious which makes it so frustrating to watch!

This is all not even mentioning the basic premise of the movie, which boils to down to hot people deserving happines, and ugly people deserving ridicule. Basically hot people = awesome, ugly people = fuck you, go die. Thats' how this movie thinks. Unless the ugly person becomes hot, then it's ok for them to be happy and be liked. How did anyone ever think they were making a movie with a positive message? I mean this is worse than that show The Swan, and that show was FUCKING BAD! *ROAR*

At least I can take away the satisfaction of knowing this movie was a huge flop that was hated by every single person who saw it. That's about the only positive thing to come from this. Too bad I had to gouge out my left eye before the movie was over just to make sur eI could still feel. Ah well.

.5 / 5