Shawn's Teeth Review

2008 Movie #90 - Teeth

God damn this movie. I've been avoiding watching it forever. I've had it downloaded it forever, wanted to watch it, came close several times, but could never fully commit. See I was afraid this movie would cause the Jaws symptoms. Remember how the first time you watched that movie you were terrified to go back in the water? Yeeaaaaa.

The premise of this movie is one you hear and just can't fucking believe it's a real movie. The plot basically boils down to a girl who discovers that yes, there are teeth in her vagina. Those teeth then proceed to bite off penises. Several of them.

This movie could really go in several directions. It could be done as a cheesy B movie, a straight forward horror movie, or a coming of age drama, or a black comedy. This one chooses not to stick with one route, and incorporates just about all of these tones into this movie. It makes things a bit of a mess but you know what, this is an entertaining movie overall.

For the most part, the movie does a pretty good job balancing all of those different genres. The black comedy is very black, but at times very funny. This movie has a couple of the single funniest movies I've seen in a movie all year. The horror works well, especially when you know that a penis cutting is coming, it's all just a matter of when. No matter how many times it happens, it never ever gets any easier to watch. As the owner and operator of a penis, there are some scenes that I would gladly have removed from my memory.

The main character is impossible not to like, and I will now add that actress to my list of "I will now watch anything she is in." She does a great job with the character, starting out as vulnerable and eventually growing to almost embrace her now found "powers." The other characters in this movie, are basically all assholes. It's kind of a stretch that all of the men in Dawn's (main characters) life are not only jerks, but like crazy over the top old western tie you to the railroad tracks evil. Her step brother must be one of the most vile characters I've ever seen in a movie. No penis chopping is severe enough for this asshole.

Overall I would chalk this one up as one of the more surprising movies of the year. It's nothing I would rush to watch again, but it's well made, well acted, and is certainly something you haven't seen in a movie before...unless you've seen the Japanese movie "Killer Pussy", in which case I'm really really sorry.

*** 1/2 / 5