Shawn's Babylon AD Review

2008 Movie #102 - Babylon AD

Damn I'm starting to fall into that old trap again. I was in such a good habit of writing the reviews as soon as I watched the movie. Now I'm back to writing it days later. Not that I'm sure anyone was dying to know my opinion on this one.

The last week of August has to be one of the worst weeks for movies this whole year which is saying a whole hell of a lot. I mean this one, Disaster Movie, College?! There isn't even a decent movie in the bunch, except for maybe Traitor but we'll have to see about that one.

I've seen the trailer for this movie at least 10 times since it was playing before every single movie I watched for a while there. The trailer actually made it look pretty decent and I've always been a secret Vin Diesel supporter, although I guess the secret is out now. I was hoping for good things from this one. Then about a week before it was released all the word started to get out. The horrible reviews, the fact that even the director was saying not to bother and that the film was crap, the 0% on rottentomatoes.com...things weren't looking too good for this one. Sure enough, it all makes sense after seeing the movie.

The main problem is that the movie is just a fucking mess. The whole thing feels disjointed and it really just doesn't make a lick of sense. There are characters and subplots introduced that go nowhere, a ton of things that are never explained and it really seems like there are whole parts missing. The end of the movie doesn't help matters much because nothing is wrapped up by that point and it leaves you feeling a little angry. I did hear there are about 15 minutes cut out of the movie which would probably help the storyline and everything make more sense. However even if the story made more sense, the movie still wouldn't be good.

The storyline is pretty basic and nothing you haven't seen before. It felt like a very weak version of Children of Men. It's your standard sci-fi elements that have been done before and it really gives the movie a "why even bother" feel.

This could maybe be forgiven if the action sequences were good, which sadly they are not. Not at all. Some of them suffer from the quick cut bullshit where you can't tell what the fuck is going on. You just sit there wondering if you're watching Vin Diesel punching a guy in a cage or a donkey drinking a carton of milk in a field. The shit cuts around so much it's really impossible to tell. There is a shootout in the streets near the end that is at least adequate, but the final action scene of a boring car chase really leaves things on such a downtrodden note. How could they choose this as the big finale set piece? It's nothing better than what you might see on a TV cop show. For a movie of this budget, you just expect a lot better in this department.

It's been a while since I've seen a Vin Diesel but was he always this bad? I seem to remember him being at least decent but wow is he ever terrible in this movie. Unless maybe he just doesn't give a shit, and let's face it why should he? No wonder he's gone crawling back to the Fast and the Furious franchise.

I'm sure this movie will have an Unrated DVD release and it will almost be tempting to check out, since not only was a lot cut, but it was knocked down from an R rating to a PG-13. We all know how much I hate that shit. I really don't think there's anything that can be done to save this movie though. It's a mess and it will always be doomed to stay that way. Don't bother with this one.

*/5