A Bonus Review! plus some general clean up

Bonjour, c'est Shawn. So I didn't end up seeing One Missed Call I'm afraid so the first official review is yet to come. Hopefully on Thursday though that one will be taken care of.

Also it has been brought to my attention that the January releases are missing a few entries. The website I was using as a reference failed to mention these so I'm going to add them in here and give my thoughts on them. Jenny you can do the same afterwards.

Meet the Spartans - January 25th
Seeing as how Date Movie and Epic Movie are two of not only the worst comedies ever, but two of the worst movies ever, this one doesn't stand much of a chance. The writers/directors of these movies seem to be doing everything in their power to create the most unfunny movies ever. I don't even care if I offend anyone but if you think either of those movies are hilarious you should be banned from movie theatres forever and maybe, MAYBE, eaten. This movie will be terrible and may in fact take over as the movie I think will be the worst this month.

Mad Money - January 18th
I don't even know what the fuck this is.

Bucket List - January 11th
Honestly this one has some potential. Got two really got actors in the lead and a decent plot that may run the risk of becoming way too sentimental. This one could really go either way but I'm going to hope for the best.

So in the future I'll have to find a better release date reference so that this debacle will never happen again.



Anyway, in the meantime, i'm going to offer the first of what I'm sure will be many bonus reviews done over the next 300 and whatever days. These will be reviews for movies that aren't part of the major releases, but are going to be reviewed regardless. Usually they will be straight to DVD releases, such as this first one here. So I proudly present the first bonus review of the 2008 Movie Quest.



2008 Movie # 1 - Boogeyman 2

You read that correctly. Someone out there actually watched the first Boogeyman and decided to themselves "ok there is a lot more story to be told here." Anyone who has seen the first Boogeyman knows that certainly isn't true seeing as it was an awful, awful movie. I to this very day have no idea why I own the DVD. I don't remember buying it or acquiring it in anyway but there it sits.

Anyway that's beside the point. The point is that this movie is undeniable proof that you can make a direct to DVD sequel to any movie. So far the wonderful world of direct to DVD sequels have provided us with such neccessary movies as: Road House 2: Last Call, Single White Female 2 : The Obsession, Glass House 2: The Good Mother, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, White Noise 2: The Light (review coming soon I'm sure, yay! something to look forward to), and of course the brillaint trifecta of Bring it On Again, Bring it On: All or Nothing, and Bring it On In It to Win It. That's not even mentioning the slew of direct to DVD crap Disney has been releasing in some sort of bizarre goal to tarnish the reputations of all of their classic films. It used to be just horror movies that got all these kinds of sequels but now the possibilites seem just about endless. There is a career for just about anyway in the world of direct to DVD sequels. All you apparently need to do is rehash the first movies plot with new actors. Oh and make sure to have a subtitle. It seems to be very important with these things.

Anyway, now that ive typed several hundred words without even mentioning the movie that I'm supposed to be reviewing let's move on. You're all going to come to learn over the next year that I hate writing plot summaries for movies in reviews and by March I bet I stop even trying all together. Since this is my first one I'll give it a shot. The movie follows a brother and sister who at a young age see their parents murdered by the "boogeyman" (who looks almost exactly like a member of Slipknot, which certainly does not help make the movie scarier). Now granted in the beginning I was distracted by making apple turnovers (fuckin' right) so I may have missed out on some key details but as far as I can tell, the brother goes to a mental hospital because of this, then gets out as a adult. Then his sister immediatly goes into the same mental hospital right afterwards. Either way, the sister is a mental hospital. Soon enough people start to be killed by their worst fears, sister claims it's the boogeyman, nobody believes, blah blah blah you know how this all goes.

First off, the boogeyman franchise (if you can even call it that) seems to have two rules when it comes to casting: get someone who used to be on 7th Heaven and someone else who used to be on Xena. Also if every single male actor can look the exact same than even better.

So the movie certainly isn't good, but at least I was never bored like I was during the first one. If my memory serves me correctly, the first Boogeyman was 80 minutes of a guy looking a closet door until finally at the end a CGI bald man came out and tried to scare us. This one at least does a few things right. First of all, it's violent as all hell. Nothing left to the imagination in this beast. Some of the deaths are actually quite gruesome and memorable to boot.

Hmm, maybe thats the only thing it did right. The fact that the boogeyman is essentially just some dude in a mask really makes it pretty generic. Also this one tries to half assedly (oh it's a word now) connect itself to the first movie which they really didn't even have to do. I'm already depressed enough that I'm watching the sequel to a movie the entire world hate, you don't have to remind me.

So in conclusion, when it comes to fairly generic, violent slasher movies, you could honestly do worse than this one. It ain't bad, but it certainly ain't good.

**/5