Shawn's Untraceable and Rambo Reviews

Shawn again, with my next two reviews, bringing the total to 8. Jenny still has 0 :( But I hear rumours we'll be getting something from her soon. Anyway tonight the GF and I had our R rated gory movie double bill. So away we go...

2008 Movie # 9 - Untraceable

Before I get into the bulk of this review, please allow me to rant for a moment. There was a woman during this movie who for a good 10 minutes had her cell phone open and was sending text messages. The glow from the phone was very noticeable as we were watching this in a theatre that more closely resembled someone's nice basement than an actual movie theatre. Anyway finally the guy behind her politely asked her to shut off the phone and what happens? She gets pissed, tells him to mind his own business. Well since you're ruining the movie he paid to watch I'm pretty sure it is his business. It's too bad Rambo wasn't there, he would have set shit straight. But we'll get to that.

So I'd read a lot of terrible things going into this movie but I gotta say, it's really not that bad. Sure it feels like it should be a mid-nineties Ashley Judd or Sandra Bullock movie, but it's honestly a pretty decent movie. Yes it's a pretty standard by the numbers thriller but it kept me interested at least.

The plot centers around a web site that shows a live feed of someone being brutally tortured. The more people who log onto the site, the faster the person dies. Diane Lane doesn't like this and tries to stop the killer before he claims his next victim. (that my friends, is a back of the DVD sentence).

First thing I have to say is this movie was a lot more brutal than I expected. I knew the website showed people dying but I had no idea how insane some of those deaths would be. There are some highly cringe worthy moments in this thing. It's no Saw in terms of gore, but it's a lot more violent than I expected. Also, the opening scene instantly makes you not only want the killer dead, but to die in the slowest, most painful way possible. You'll see what I mean....unless you don't plan on seeing it. In which case drop me a line and I'll be glad to spoil it.

The acting is pretty good, with Diane Lane doing a good job as the lead and Colin Hanks is quite likeable as her partner. Some of the dialogue is a little on the cheesy side, with one line in particular coming to mind ("I may be good at many things....but I'm not good at losing people. I'm BAD, at losing people"). There's a bit of computer techie talk but not too much that it's distracting or boring.

I was a little disappointed with how they handle the killer at times. Their reveal is a little anti climatic and happens way too early. Although the way they figure it all out is kind of cool. The character of the killer is a tad on the "get the fuck out of here" side however. This guy (or girl) can do things with a computer that I'm pretty sure are way out of the hands of everyone except God himself and perhaps also Penny from Inspector Gadget. Oh and Nicholas Cage.

In the end, it's a decent, fairly by the book thriller that doesn't bore and has a decent storyline. It tries to have a message as well, that actually kind of works on some levels.

***/5

2008 Movie # 10 - Rambo

Ahhhh Rambo. You all know I was pretty excited about this one. I've only ever seen First Blood but I purchased the Rambo DVD set tonight so I'll be watching the other ones very shortly. Now I didn't have high expectations for this one in that I thought it would be a great film. No I had high expectations for this one in that I thought Rambo was gonna get in there and fuck shit up. And fuck shit up he did.

As with Untraceable, I was kind of surprised by the violence in this movie. Don't get me wrong of course I expected it to be violent, but this is a much more brutal violence than I anticipated. It shows the Burmese soldiers doing all sorts of terrible things such as shooting children and raping women. It's not until the last 20 minutes or so that we get the really over the top, borderline cartoonish violence. It's a little strange to go from violence that is supposed to shock us, to violence that is intended to make us cheer.

But maybe I'm just looking into it too much. Rambo is what it is. It's a fairly simple story with Rambo and a team of mercernaries trying to save a group of missionary workers who have been taken captive by Burmese soldiers. In the process Rambo kills a lot of people. That's really all there is story wise but at just over 80 minutes in length, the movie really doesn't need much more than that. And as mentioned above, those last 10-20 minutes are just balls out fucking crazy. You would need the killer from Untraceable just to count how many people Rambo kills during this period of the movie.

I've always had a soft spot for Stallone and he does a good job here, taking on the role of not only the star but the director and co-writer as well. He portrays Rambo as someone who doesn't want to be killing all these people, but it's basically in his blood. He also gets a couple of really badass moments that I won't ruin here.

Overall, Rambo is definitely entertaining. It's an odd movie in terms of shocking violence mixed in with ridiculous, people getting torn apart by bullets violence, but it's overall a good time and the DVD will one day be owned by me.

***.5 /5 (damn that looks awkward, but so does ***1/2 /5)

So just about done with January movies. My Bucket List review should be up tomorrow, with 27 Dresses coming the next day. That only leaves Meet the Spartans (god help me). Then I'll do the month in review round-up and start on the ole' February predictions. This is only the beginning.