Shawn's 2nd Rant

I wasn't sure if this would be a segment of the blog that would make a return but damn it, sometimes the world of movies makes me so mad that I really don't have a choice but to rant about it. This one may not quite be as heated as my Meet the Spartans rant but it's still worthy of one. In fact I think I may have hinted at this one way back when I wrote the first one.

Rant #2 - Stop Bitching About No 'R' Rated Movies When You Don't Even See The Ones We Get

This is something that has been bothering me for quite some time but I hadn't really been inspired enough to write it until right now. You see I just took a look at the top 10 movies for this past weekend and surprise, surprise Prom Night is number one. It's not even just number one but it's number one by quite a bit. Now don't get me wrong it's not just that factor that makes me mad, although believe me it definitely angers me. It's fact that in just 3 days (2 basically actually) Prom Night has made just about double the amount of money that The Ruins has made. That's where we get into the bulk of this rant because of course Prom Night is a PG-13 movie and The Ruins is rated R.

It's no secret that horror fans both hardcore and casual are very vocal about their feelings on PG-13 horror. Many agree that horror movies should be R rated and feel that there are simply not enough of them. Anytime a horror movie that was originally supposed to be rated R is watered down and given a PG-13 rating, there is a ton of vocal outcry from horror fans about how it's a bad move. The problem is, it's getting harder and harder to blame the movie studios for this because it's becoming quite clear that PG-13 horror makes money but R rated usually does not, at least not in the same scale.

Am I saying that you can't make a good PG-13 horror movie? Absolutely not. I highly enjoyed the first Ring, and the recent Cloverfield was PG-13 but no less fantastic. I am saying that 90% of PG-13 horror is recycled garbage. I mean we've seen Prom Night 1000 times before. People die horrible deaths that we never get to actually see and then don't spill an ounce of blood. The movie is spent making loud noises and having people bump into things and scream. I've only seen maybe 10 minutes of Prom Night and it's quite clear that's really all the movie has to offer. This exact movie is released at least once or twice a year but they always make money so they show no signs of stopping anytime soon.

The other type we get are the ones mentioned above, the ones that were going to be rated R until the studio pussied out and lowered the rating. These movies can be even worse since it's always clear that a lot of stuff was cut to get the new rating. In fact sometimes the cuts are so bad that the movie no longer makes any narrative sense (The Darkness and Pulse for some reason come to mind, granted the R rated versions of those movies weren't that good either but still).

My point really is that PG-13 horror for the most part is lazy garbage, but they always make their budgets back, plus tons more. Then every now and then an R rated horror movie comes along. Sometimes even a really good R rated movie. We've had two really good R rated horror movies in the past few months, The Ruins and The Mist. Both R rated, both basically flopped at the box office. So you see what I'm getting at right? People bitch and bitch and bitch about R rated horror movies but then nobody seems to go and see them when they finally get released. This is exactly why studios keep making PG-13 ones!! You can't fucking complain about no R rated movies if you don't even go and see the ones that we get!!!

It's not just horror either. Many people also bitch about R rated action movies and how few of those we get. In fact I still read about that all the time. However last year I can recall not only two R rated action movies, but two fucking fantastic R rated action movies. I'm speaking of course of Grindhouse and Shoot 'Em Up. These movies were just fucking phenomenal. Everyone who saw them pretty much loved them (at least with Grindhouse), but the problem is that nobody went to go and see them. Both were considered huge flops. You don't think studios pay attention to that shit?!

When it was announced that Live Free or Die Hard would be released as a PG-13 movie people just about lost their fucking minds. Granted the movie still was kick-ass, but if you've seen the Unrated cut you know that it just feels much more like a real Die Hard movie. PG-13 Die Hard still made crazy fucking money though. This is just more reason for studios to go the PG route in the future.

I'm not saying all hope is lost. 300 was R-rated and made ridiculous money, and this year's Rambo did quite well also. I'm just saying that I know a lot of people and read comments by a lot of people who do nothing but bitch about not enough R rated movies, yet don't even go and see the ones we do get. The next time someone I know complains about no R rated action or horror movies I'm going to simply ask them, "Well did you see Grindhouse and The Ruins?" If the answer is no to either one of them, I'm going to kick them square in the junk. FACT!!