2008 Movie #46 - Day of the Dead
I think I'm going to remake the original Die Hard only in my version, the main character is a pussy, we're going to get rid of the building and have all of the action take place in a department store, the bad guys now have super powers, Hans Gruber would be some sort of robot, there would be no one-liners, and there would be a fuck load more musical numbers. It would still be called "Die Hard" though. Doesn't sound a thing like the original huh? Well that was my incredibly long winded way of saying that this movie is Day of the Dead in name only. A couple of the characters have the same or similar names and yes there are zombies (although even thats a stretch since in this movie they just seem to be suffering from extreme colds, so who knows maybe some Tylenol is all they need) but thats where the similarities completely stop.
I'm sure they called this Day of the Dead to attract interest and get people to watch what is nothing more than a bottom of the barrel piece of shit horror movie. I mean this thing is just god awful. It might be kind of fun to make fun of with your friends but there are way better movies out there for that. I think by the end you would just kind of get bored with the whole thing. The movie is so fucking ridiculous already it's like it's almost daring you to try and make fun of it more, because it's almost impossible.
I don't even really know where to begin in talking about how god damn stupid this movie is. I already mentioned that the zombies are merely people with bad colds, at least that's what I got out of it. Oh and these "zombies" can also climb on fucking walls and ceilings, run faster than most gold medal athletes, and leap from several stories off a building and not be phased. Zombie or not, that would shatter every fucking bone in your leg. Then let's see them climb on the damn ceiling.
Also there is one zombie who doesn't eat people, like in the original Day of the Dead. However instead of giving him an actual story and reasoning for it, we're just told he's a vegetarian and thats why he wont eat people. I'm not even fucking kidding. Even worse, this line of dialogue is delivered in the most dead fucking serious way ever. Anyone who could say that line and not follow it with a look at the camera and a "Are you absolutely shitting me?" is fucking Batman. By that rationale, a giant portion of the zombie population shouldn't be eating people. Are they actually saying this guy is the only vegetarian on the entire planet? I can almost believe wall crawling zombies but this? Come on now.
The acting will make you want to vomit out of your eyesocket. Mena Suvari could not be more miscast as the badass, and there are not enough feet in the world to kick Nick Cannon's ass as much as he needs it. His character is the absolute definition of fucking annoying. No death they could deliver would be enough. I don't care if he is slowly tortured if front of us for weeks on end, I would still say "eh, that could have been worse for him." I think we're actually supposed to like his character and find him funny, further evidence that the people behind this movie either have no idea what they're doing, or just fucking hate people who watch movies and wanted to punish us.
I can't even recommend this one as a stupid make fun of it time waster. For that kind of movie, might I suggest seeking out The Sleeping Car. Look it up, it's fucking hilarious. As for this one, walk into your nearest rental or retail store and just smash it to pieces. The managers will thank you for it.
.5 /5 (it gets half a point because the vegetarian line delivery made me laugh harder than I had in quite some time)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I actually enjoyed this one a lot. And it appears you didn't know the history of the film and why it shares the name of the original (which I thought sucked).
Also, you can't even talk about bad acting as it's better than what we got in Diary of the Dead.
Not perfect but it was a fun little zombie movie with blood and guts and we really don't get blood and guts often enough.
This movie was absolutely dreadful.
WHY did the bring Ving Rhames (sp?) into this movie? It's stupid and he shouldn't bet here. Don't get me wrong he was the best part of Dawn of the Dead but he was misplaced here.
I love zombie movies but this, and both house of the dead games pretty much fucked up zombies >=[
nope, didnt know the history of the film and really have little interest in it.
i said the acting in diary of the dead was bad too, you make it sound as though i defended it. im being very generous in giving out my terrible acting kudos.
Post a Comment